#i have other pet peeves but this is already way too long

[belovedenzo]

the kings of hogwarts // slytherin boys headcanons

various headcanons; appearance/style, social stance/relationships , pet peeves, favorite things, fun facts.

characters; Theodore Nott, Mattheo Riddle, Lorenzo Berkshire, Draco Malfoy, Blaise Zambini, Tom Riddle

words; 3.7k

warnings; cussing, sfw other than that? I think? suggestive maybe

notes; these are all my opinions so if they aren't accurate to you that's okay! If you want more various headcanons, comment some ideas and i'll make it happen :). please enjoy! reposts, likes and comments keep me motivated to make more. thank you guys for all the love on my other stories so far!

taglist; just tagging people I like! If u don’t want to be tagged please lmk! @shyamanuensis @riddlesbunny @redeemingvillains @nottsamor @nottsbaby @nottsluvv @nottsangel @riddleswhcre @enzosbabyangel @enzoberkshiresonly-deactivated2 @nottslove @nemesyaaa @obsessedwithceleste @prythiansprincess @anawritez-posts @riddlesrizzler

Theodore Nott

appearance/style;

6ft1

broad with decent muscle tone 

light chartreuse eyes

Few scattered freckles. Iconic freckle below left eye 

Light brown hair with body

A natural kubrick stare with a twist of gentleness

Sharp incisors

innocent smiles and shy grins (it’s a stick up)

doesn’t wear a lot of jewelry- occasionally a ring on his left hand

Outside of his uniform he sticks to simple colors for his clothes- beige, black, white, tan, navy, dark brown, etc.

Definitely gold over silver 

Always wearing the nicest shoes- shoes are his favorite accessory

Watch on the right arm when it’s a fancy event because he’s left handed

Wears a lot of sweaters in the winter 

social stance/relationships;

Silent but deadly. He may not cause a fight for the thrill of it like Mattheo will, but he will support and instigate his best friends angsty behavior. His naturally sweet looking face can quickly become mincing- his main tactic of intimidating his enemies and naysayers. 

Most people think he’s meaner than he is. He actually stays mostly in his own lane if it isn’t to back up the rest of the boys or join in on chaos one of them already caused. 

They are all players, sure- but Theo is kinda mean about it. Rather heartless with his hookups and doesn’t ever keep the same one for long. Romantic feelings are something he doesn’t really feel or act on. 

May be on the more cold side with girls but keeps their personal info to himself. Even to his friends he doesn’t brag or talk about it that often. 

People who do get the opportunity of being Theo’s friend say that he is very funny and has a dark sense of humor

Comes off as a lone wolf to the rest of the school- but can also very often be seen with his best friend Mattheo

Will actually stand up for the little guy- especially if on his own. If he thinks something is unfair he will call them out

Thinks that Lorenzo is the funniest in their group but tells Mattheo it’s him to make him feel better

Let’s the boys think he isn’t totally in charge of most of their affairs

Mattheo is his best friend- he thinks he’s the coolest and gets along with him the most out of any of the boys 

Him and Enzo butt heads a lot but he does love him very much

Goes to Blaise and Tom when he needs good advice or just to vent to smart people

Finds himself feeling jealous of Draco and his ability to not give a fuck (little does he know…)

pet peeves;

While he does engage in bullying with the rest of the boys he thinks Draco goes way too far sometimes. It gets on his nerves and sometimes does say something

Love and romance in any way. If he feels like any girl is catching feelings he gets the ick and leaves sooner than he would have anyways 

Hates it when Mattheo blows cigarette smoke to close to his face even though he smokes too

Thinks Enzo brags too much about himself but has never said anything 

Also thinks Enzo can talk too much in general sometimes…

If a girl he likes seems more interested in any of his friends he gets jealous. This happens with Mattheo the most and can cause them to fight

favourite things;

Alone time- as much as he loves his friends he actually does love chill time alone sometimes

He likes parties just as much as the rest of them but for him it’s because he can get super fucked up- he’s there for the muggle weed and alcohol

Potions. Out of all his classes he actually finds making potions kind of fun- his favorite classmate to make potions with is Pansy because she’s actually good at it

More into smoking than drinking- loves muggle weed. He’s always in charge of bringing it to the their smaller get togethers

Crystal Castles- if that band existed he would love it

Spicy food

Painting- even though he thinks he’s terrible at it

Hanging out with Mattheo

Early morning hours 

Skirts on girls

fun facts;

Actually speaks Italian and some Spanish 

He can out-smoke any of the boys (yes even Mattheo)

Pansy has a huge crush on him 

He never remembers his dreams 

Has dyslexia

Mattheo Riddle

appearance/style;

5ft10

Lean but prominent muscle tone

Chocolate brown eyes 

Long eyelashes

dark brown hair- lightly curly

Dough eyes

Very charming grin- but mischievous 

Wears various bracelets and a pinky ring on his left hand constantly

Mostly dark colors. Loves jackets even when not in uniform

Mostly silver, but likes gold

There’s a few rings and bracelets that he wears the most- almost every day. They are subtle but iconic

Watch on his left arm because he’s right handed

Too scared to pierce his ears

Actually likes fashion and thinks about it when he gets ready

social stance/relationships;

Terrible reputation. Known for his rude words and tendency to get into physical fights. This has a lot of people on his enemy list

He and Draco are the worst about how they treat other people in and outside of their house. He has no respect for people that feel less than him

One of the worst players- but has a select roster he mainly goes to. They are wrapped around his pinky

Can and has felt romantic feelings but never acts on it. Hides his desire to actually love someone. Thinks that would make him too vulnerable

While Draco is egotistical- Mattheo is rude for other reasons. He’s pessimistic and does it to get attention

Secretly wants validation but continues to worsen his reputation by acting out 

Thinks Theo is the funniest and the coolest. He loves his dark sense of humor. They bounce off of eachother well 

Let’s Theo think he’s in charge but it’s so obviously him- right? (right-)

While his best friend is Theo- he is also very close with Enzo

Him and his brother Tom butt heads a lotttt, they get into a lot of disagreements. He secretly loves him a lot 

Also quite close to Draco. They can relate in some ways even if they won’t admit it

Goes to Blaise when he needs advice or even when logic needs to be talked into him

All of his friends know that he is secretly super sweet and caring but outsiders don’t and he likes it that way

pet peeves;

Tom’s lack of empathy. And his lack of interest towards getting with girls- he thinks that is odd

When Tom won’t hang out with them because of an academic reason- also thinks that is odd

When a girl stops showing interest in him in any way- or if they’ve replaced him. If it’s one of his friends he’d freak

He hates all of his friends music taste. They don’t listen to good music. He thinks very highly however of his own music taste

Tests of any kind

If any of his friends take Tom’s side during one of their fights he gets super mad and it secretly hurts him a lot

favorite things;

The smiths- he would listen to the smiths a lot and I will die on that hill

The specific brand of cigarettes he smokes daily

Quidditch- Lorenzo is his favorite team mate because he’s quick

Confrontation 

Music

Attention, positive or negative 

A total night person, especially as it gets colder

Sour candy 

Reading tragic romance stories 

Horror movies

Hanging out with Theo

fun facts;

Thinks he can out-smoke Theo (he can not)

Has really crazy dreams and a hard time sleeping 

Gets seasonal depression really bad

Hates the smell of coffee but still drinks it

Has had multiple secret real gf’s that only Theo knows about

Lorenzo Berkshire

appearance/style;

6ft4 (the tallest)

Long limbs- lean. But shockingly strong, sleeper build

Amber brown eyes

Sharp jawline

A natural Kubrick stare- mean case of resting bitch face

Dark brown hair- kept on the longer side

Shows his emotions on his face through his expressions

Likes necklaces, long ones underneath his clothes. Likes rings and earrings which he wears most of the time

Mostly gold but likes silver as well

Outside of his uniform he wears a lot of pastel colors, purple and green being his favorite. Also really likes dark purple and green. Gem tones

Watch on both arms, mixed with chunky bracelets (for fancy events)

Everyone says he had really beautiful hair and he secretly always makes sure it is (he loves his hair)

Social stance and relationships;

Known as the schools biggest whore. But in a good way?

Even though he can actually be the worst- he has a good reputation. His ability to charm and seem innocent has helped him get away with a lot of things 

Generally one of the most liked out of the boys around the whole school. People fear him least and actually really want to be friends with him

Either that or they have a huge crush on him

He comes off as much more sweet than he… can be

He uses girls very disposibley. He really makes them feel like he really likes them though. He’s great at pretending to get what he wants

All of his friends know one of the worst thing about him is his habit of lying 

Over the years girls have gotten the gist of what kind of guy he truly is but it still stays rumor around school because of how well liked he is 

Treats everyone in the group like they are his best friends- but it’s probably actually Mattheo

He knows that Theo can find him annoying but thinks that’s funny. Even does it on purpose sometimes for entertainment 

Draco is his cousin and another close friend of his but secretly envy’s him because he thinks the boys like Draco more than him

Becomes the most mischievous when with Mattheo. They can act like major dicks together

Likes to hit on girls with Blaise

Goes to Tom about school stuff he struggles with. He’s not that great with academics

While he can be cold in some ways to others- with his friends he can be quite emotional 

pet peeves;

He hates that he feels the need to be perfect all the time but never can be 

It irks him that everyone thinks Mattheo is some hooligan when he’s really not 

While he likes smoking cigarettes- he thinks they all smoke too much

He has a lower tolerance and hates that he’s always the first to be super drunk 

Waking up in the morning. Always wakes up in a terrible mood until he wakes up 

Out of any of the boys he has the most patience overall

favorite things;

Getting drunk and partying. He gets invited to everything 

Having people fawn all over him. He likes that so many people like him

Flirting with other guy’s girlfriends to piss them off

Quidditch- loves playing with Mattheo and Draco

Muggle weed. Also has the lowest tolerance with that 

Hugging Draco 

Fruit. Blueberries are his favorite 

Deftones. He’d feel so cool while listening to them 

Luna Lovegood. He thinks she’s freaky in a good way

fun facts;

Has the deepest voice out of all the boys

Can run faster than anyone else at Hogwarts

Has really bad OCD 

Out of any of the boys he is most susceptible to substance abuse. Terrible addictive personality 

He hates his family and only talks about growing up with Draco 

Draco Malfoy

appearance/style;

6ft even

White blond hair 

Striking, light blue eyes

Long and lanky. The skinniest out of them

Sharp angular features

Also has resting bitch face but on purpose 

Loves jewelry- but classy jewelry and not all the time. Mostly necklaces 

Silver and silver only

Wears a lot of dark clothing- also likes gem tones. But mostly black white and grey’s

Mostly gets comments on how blonde his hair is and how bright his eyes are. Has soul staring blue eyes

Black is his most iconically worn color fs

Watch on his left because he’s right handed. Actually wears it every day

social stance/relationships;

A total asshole. Just less physically than Mattheo. He may not pick a physical fight but he does bully a lot of people- he’s rude and intitled. Says hurtful things

Known for his high ego and over privileged personality

People don’t understand how him and Lorenzo are even related 

Does pull girls but isn’t as good as the others are at it- is filled with too much hate (lol… no actually)

Everyone wonders how he gets good grades because he never pays attention. It’s because he’s actually super smart

Him and Tom get along really well. They actually have a lot in common and hang out a lot

Blaise and Lorenzo are the ones that know more of his vulnerable and emotional side, being there since the beginning

Mattheo and him really feed off one another and are a very feared couple when together (no one is safe). They fuel each others egos 

Actually really loves Theo. Has always had an extra soft spot for him and has wished he could be him

He envy’s how cold Tom actually is. Draco hides a lot of his pain in a fake persona

He actually had real gf’s. A few long term ones even

Out of all the boys he trusted Blaise first. Lorenzo introduced them

pet peeves;

Everything? No literally- he has a very short fuse

Speaking of short fuse- his friends like to use that against him and rile him up for fun. He hates that

Being disrespected. He will actually become a Karen if he has to- no body is rude to Draco.. except his friends are rude to him all the time 

How much everyone loves his cousin Enzo but hates him. He is jealous of the attention he gets

Any time one of the guys are bragging about girls because he secretly wishes he had that many girls 

Mattheo’s fucking cigarette smoke

The fact that Tom’s grades are just a little better than his 

The fact that Mattheo and Enzo are better at quidditch than him 

Gryffindor. Just the whole houses existence

“Fucking nerds’, as he’d call them 

favourite things;

Cussing 

Writing (keeps it to himself mostly)

Mattheo’s music taste

Enzo hugs (he will die before Enzo knows this)

The Greengrass sisters (has dated both of them… wants one of them back)

The color black

Getting extremely drunk. Feeling numb and unbothered. That’s when he gets deep and real 

Cold weather- hates the heat

Pastries, especially jelly filled ones 

fun facts;

Speaks French 

Is super rich and will make sure everyone knows that

Has a weakness for cute animals 

Got mad when Tom lost his virginity before him

Is secretly bisexual

Probably bpd

Blaise Zambini

appearance/style;

6ft2 (the second tallest)

Broad and muscular but still on the lean side

Deep brown eyes

Full lips, model like features 

Great cheekbones 

Known as one of the prettiest out of the boys

Likes gold and silver 

Never wears his watch- always forgets it and loses it

Does wear earrings like all the time though

Secretly wants a nose piercing 

Wears a lot of grey and navy outside of his uniform. Looks really good in it though

Striking eyes but gentle, sweet resting face

social stance/relationships;

A good reputation like Enzo- but a bit more intimidating 

A lot of girls want him but he’s actually quite picky and doesn’t give a lot of them a chance

Gets emotional about girls more so than his friends- still doesn’t date them. Like Mattheo- has the ones he goes to the most 

Not really mean at all unless he’s joining in on his friends being dicks. Him and Enzo like to tease people together 

Sees Draco as his best friend 

Knew Enzo first

Wishes he could be as smart as Tom and goes to him a lot for school questions. Is secretly super smart though and could probably get better grades than Tom if he applied himself more

Likes to smoke with Theo the most. They get along well when they smoke together

Thinks Mattheo is the funniest 

pet peeves;

How mean Draco and Mattheo can be. He finds it pointless and rude when they go too far

When he gets lumped into some of the boys bad behavior

When Enzo and Draco get too drunk at parties. He tends to drink less because he knows they will go over board and he’ll have to take care of them 

How little the boys think about Tom sometimes and leave him behind (Tom would have said no anyways)

How much he can see through Draco’s shit sometimes 

Does a lot of damage control for his friends and that can get old

Being late to things

Losing things (loses things all the time)

Watching a friend lower their standards for a girl or guy

favorite things;

Going to quidditch games to see his friends play- always sits with Theo

Colder weather

A comfy sweater

A nicely rolled joint. Thinks Theo roles the best ones

When things are nice and calm. No body is arguing or being stupid and he doesn’t have to be mom

When his grades are good and he doesn’t have to stress about it

Watching Draco get put in his place 

Alone time with Draco and Enzo, just like their first year

Rock music. Like classic rock music- listens to it with Tom and Mattheo

Girls that wear nice perfume 

fun facts;

He wishes he could play quidditch when he watches his friends play

Can understand a small amount of Draco’s French 

Has really bad anxiety but keeps it to himself

Seems like the most put together in the group but really isn’t at all. More insecure than he lets on

Tom Riddle

appearance/style;

5ft11 (One inch that he holds over Mattheo’s head)

Major sleeper build

Green eyes. Odd shade of green that you can’t forget

Hair similar to his brothers just a little less curly 

NIce jawline

Evil and mischievous looking grin- it’s just that way naturally 

Resting plotting against you face 

Tries to have a kubrick stare but has dough eyes like Mattheo 

Would wear jewelry but nothing too flashy. A necklace maybe- one ring even

Gold and silver- mostly gold

Wears his watch on his right hand because he’s left handed. Wears it all the time 

Isn’t seen in much other than his uniform. But when he is it’s black and green anyways 

Doesn’t care for fashion. Thinks piercings and tattoos of any kind are too much

Never goes into public not dressed nice 

social stance/relationships;

Social outcast. Not the most social at all really

Extremely focused on his grades and personal writings

Is either feared or ignored by most people around him 

Does however have friends and goes out with them sometimes… when they bug him enough 

He is known for being very smart though and lots of students want his help on projects 

Quite intimidating even though he doesn’t care enough to bully anyone 

Isn’t very interested in girls… has had his fun with a few but romance and feelings don’t exist in his world- he has no time or energy for that

Has had a few crushes but would never tell anyone 

Doesn’t talk about his feelings with any of his friends 

Actually likes his brother Mattheo the most out of any of them but won’t admit that

Is also a huge fan of Theo- he thinks he’s the funniest 

Likes being around Blaise a lot too- thinks he is actually super smart

Draco and him hang out often- they have a lot in common and Draco makes the most sense to him out of all the boys 

He finds Enzo slightly annoying… he’s just gotten used to him really 

All of the boys admire Tom in an odd way and he does know that 

pet peeves;

Like Draco- Tom finds everything lame and annoying to be honest. He however is more quiet about his distaste for things unless he really hates it

Enzo’s constant talking about girls. He thinks that guy talks too much in general 

Mattheo’s temper. He thinks Mattheo needs to get it together and drop the ego

How little his friends pay attention in school… how stupid some of them can be 

Mattheo’s fucking cigarette smoke 

How much the school cares about quidditch and how Mattheo is praised about it more than he is with his academic success 

Getting super fucked up is dumb to him. Just like the flirting and hooking up- he has better things to do. He will however smoke muggle weed a little bit and does lie cigarettes

Being touched (Enzo trying to hug him)

Athletics of any kind 

favorite things; 

Writing and reading, he absolutely loves it 

Draco’s creative cussing 

Getting the best grades out of all his friends 

Watching Mattheo get angry at him and squirmy 

Chocolate, major bitter sweet tooth

Black coffee

Charms; he is really good at it 

Dueling; he is also really good at it and beats all the boys

Classical music 

Alone time and his own space 

fun facts;

He can play the piano really well. Plays mostly for Mattheo 

Practically raised Mattheo even though he’s just a year older

He doesn’t like to sleep too much

He is always the first to wake up and start his day 

He is also the first to always leave the table in the great hall

He speaks parseltongue but no body knows

Secretly overthinks a lot 

love, spell

[empathicliar]

⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀what you deserve ¸.•* eren yeager.

𝟔𝐤. 𝐥𝐨𝐰𝐞𝐫𝐜𝐚𝐬𝐞 𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐝 , 𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐦𝐞 𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐢𝐚𝐡 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐬𝐜𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐬𝐭 𝐜𝐨𝐝𝐞𝐝.

༺❀༻ || 𝐬𝟒!​eren , 𝐬𝐭𝐨𝐧𝐞𝐫!eren , 𝐩𝐮𝐬𝐬𝐲-𝐝𝐫𝐮𝐧𝐤!​eren , college ua , for my caramel babies , eager!eren , she / her pronouns , overstimulation , sweet talker , lots of kisses , multiple orgasm's , strangers to lovas , plot based , no protection , cream pie!! >~< , dirty talk , use of pet names.​

" when you put a lil' umph in it, that's when i lose control. "

⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀

there's only so much you can handle in a day's worth before overstimulation kicks in. rocking in a chair for four hours while getting a new row of ginger bundles sewed in by your auntie is already enough. gossiping about how your uncle is a piece of work can get added to that list too.

the white juicy couture track suit you have on is hugging your curves tighter than normal. you have ymir's 'friend' historia to thank for that. you'd only spoken to her once about how loose your tracksuits were and how badly you wanted them tighter and she got to work, completely redoing the threading to boost your ego a little to much.

eager with your hair to be done, you'd already marked a couple of other errands off the list. your fingers nails are coded with medium length cut-out shaped nails. a white base with some carnation pink painted bows. not wanting it to be to basic, you got some pink and white zebra stripes on your middle and pinky fingers.

your white painted toe-nails are covered by the ugg's you had to throw on due to the weather. you were always saying you hated summer until it wasn't around anymore and the cold had you shivering in the warmest of places.

its something about looking, feeling and smelling good that has you obsessed with yourself all over again. the vanilla scent is leaking off every surface of your body, the oil drops in your purse coming in clutch every time you wanted a refresher.

it's about four pm when your hair appointment is done. its something simple you could always deal with. 18 , 22 , 24 inch hair reaching your plush ass, your back already itching from the prickling nest.

" thank you s'much auntie! " you're exclaiming in her ear, already squeezing her to death with a hug.

you're not even close to being done. this winter break is going to be different. you naively figured you could get everything you wanted done while in college, yet when you finally touched the grounds it's like your shoulders slumped further down into a unforgivable pattern.

you stopped taking care of yourself mentally. you never stopped being a pretty bitch, nothing stops that. you got all the main things done. your hair was always styled, you don't play that. you're always soft and buttery smooth. the pet peeve for any hair on your body making you cringe.

you were always smelling good, it just became apparent you weren't going out of your way to take enough time for everything. by the time five rolls around, your sitting on your phone outside of your homegirl's house, waiting for her to get home.

mirrors by jhene aiko is playing softly in the back, your tinted windows are up and the bag of chick-fil-a nuggies are half eaten to your right. being your passy princess until further notice.

it doesn't take long for nicki to get to her place. she has big shopping bags in her hands, big balling on one of these cold ass afternoons. " you have a key to my house, you could've went in. " nicki reminds you, it slipped your mind completely. you glance at the hello kitty charm that hung in-front of your key fob, your dorm room key and her house key.

the long, black table you'd laid on more time's than your own bed has a ring light above it. a strollie with different lash things you'd never taken a hobby to is on the right side of it and the actually bundle set you asked for sits beside a bottle of water. eating the rest of your nuggets while nicki took a few bites of her salad, you both talked for God knows how long.

it's been a while since you've been in this cozy place. the apartment is on the first floor and in a gated community. you were so proud of nicki, she kept her word on making it big in life.

" you still going to ymir's tonight? " she asking while scratching the top layer of your lashes. wrong decision. it's like talking through an intense orgasm. your grabbing her hand to stop her to reply. she's only laughing at you the whole time.

" y-yeah girl i am. " your muttering out, your own laugh pouncing off the walls. nicki is a pro when it comes to getting you up and out of her chair satisfied. she snaps a video of the lashes and your making a fake brave face the whole time trying not to chuckle from the silence.

your in your car again by seven o'clock. playing with your hair in your review mirror, tucking the strands behind your ear and letting the multiple fans in your car fully dry your lashes. the song is back to playing at it's last pause while you move your lid's up in a uncomfortable position and let the air hit the base of your water lines.

you've driven to ymir's place so many times from nicki's house, you've gotten familiar with every back road, speed bump and pothole. the potholes brings back a awful memory of damage you wanted no part of remembering.

the weekend commute of straight peace was in motion. you got to ymir's house later than usually and took a joyful stride to your favorite love seat. the comfort makes you stifle a moan. you've done to much today to not get a break.

a song from ymir's recycled playlist is playing, it might be from sza's new album but you aren't to entirely sure. the only thing on your mind is food and weed. in the middle of the table there's snacks. cheddar popcorn, cherry bite twizzlers, some sour gummies and gushers. you opted on the popcorn and two packs of gushers.

on the back, light tan wall is a flat screen tv that's curved more towards you than it is connie and you finally correct your suspicions when you notice the name of the song and artist. i knew it, your thinking out with bunched up arms.

its seems like its been to long since you've been here and genuinely had time to stay.

since college had started in february, you branched out quickly when it came to friend groups. it wasn't a challenge when said friends had been around since high school. ymir, the brown haired girl with freckles and the nicest jaw line known to man offered you weed for exchanged of a pencil in junior year and connie, a surly boy with short, almost balding grey hair and a sleeve tattoo his mother didn't approve of just so happened to be next to you pouting from your win.

only a month into knowing them both, you were already coming to ymir's house and smoking like no tomorrow. connie tagging along some of the days, but he was mostly with his own group at the time. after high school, you figured this was going to be the time you all parted, saying ' i'll see you tomorrow bitch!' and never actually seeing them.

you were more than wrong when you realized you all had been planning to go the same paths.

those year's led up to these moments. now, every weekend ymir would host these little... parties or when it was strictly chill vibes and no one had the time or the energy to run around with don julio in each hand. she would host a small kickback. only inner friends only.

that consistent of you, ymir, connie's dumb ass, a girl named sasha, who connie knew in pre-school, sasha's close friend jean or john. you'd forgotten a little to quickly for your liking. they'd been coming around for months and last and least, jean's friend eren yeager.

eren's... alright. you don't have anything bad to say about the boy. he's always sweet enough to you but it seems like every time you want to engage in a conversation, its over shadowed by whatever else someone is saying. at the end of the day he's still a stranger you hadn't taken the full time to get to know. it's funny how many times you'd shared a blunt with him, lip's colliding yet never learned a single thing about him.

he has a attracting spirit. the kind you found hot to an extent. he's the type to wear strong fragrances to turn heads and its exactly what he does. that skunky scent of lavish soap and expensive cologne he seemed to never leave the house without was a dead give away he was in the area. he's always adorn in sweat pants and baggy shirt's that don't do him any justice.

you could tell he takes pride in his look, well he somewhat did at least. he always has this self-approving look on his face. his fingers are always decorated with silver rings that go well with the skeleton bone tattoo that paints from his left veiny hand to his shoulder.

it makes it hard not to look his direction when he makes such a grand entrance. he's a real eye catcher, a pretty boy you knew shouldn't be anywhere in your area. you don't do good with flirty looks and bed room eyes. they could lead you to a spare bedroom any fucking time.

" |⋆|, ghost face or michael myers? " ymir asks, breaking you out of your mini tundra.

" probably ghost face, he's so fuckable. " connie rolls his eyes, taking a big hit from the blunt he'd been preparing for minutes. the bud is covered in ashes' by the time he pulls away, heaps of smoke coming from his side of the room.

sasha, who got the second best seat in the house sat a few feet away from you. she giggles. " real recognizes real. " you nodded with a smirk and clapped her hand, the noise echo's in the spacious living room.

" you nigga's are just freaky, that's all it is. " you almost let a 'shut up connie.' fall from your lips but the front door opens. in walks the person who was always late. eren. he has his hands in these loose, black sweat-pant pockets, you don't have to see those daring fingers to know he has them covered with hard looking rings. the grey t'shirt he's wearing has a design on the front you cant really decipher.

" what's up yeager. " eren tilts his head up for a greeting and makes his way to connie. his plush lips twist into a confident simper as he daps the two guys up.

eren's speaking again, taking a glance at the table with half of the snacks missing and only two rolls left. " y'all couldnt wait on me? "

" you take forever. " you say, bringing a dark blanket to your chest. " so what? " eren replies with smugness, his green eyes peering at yours with pure coy. you only return it with your infamous eyeroll to kill his dreams.

'i hate a nigga that knows he's good looking. '

" you live the closest. " stating the obvious, eren plops down in the seat in between connie and jean, folding his arms over the back, man-spreading his clothed legs to get some more room. its like he knows you want to look at his every move. he's too damn fine for his own good.

it isn't long before he's changing his seating position and he's reaching at that brown wooden table for a pack of rolls and the weed grinder. he opens the black container – seeing connie left him enough for one blunt. he's taking his win quickly.

finger's making quick toil on folding the creases in, tongue slipping out to seal it. you're face is fuming when he brings the lighter to the end of the blunt and the light reflects on his face. he's so focused on the misty smoke and not wasting the little he has, he doesn't notice the gushing look he's getting from the woman across the room.

'did it just get hotter in here or something?' you take a glance to the thermostat next to the goldish rimmed painting hanging above your head. sixty-seven degrees and no showing of anything getting hotter anytime soon. you chew on your lip. its probably that thick ass blunt ymir made you. it has to be kicking in or something.

speaking of the freckle faced stoner, she walks back into the room, you hadn't even noticed she'd gotten up. she's empty handed, using one of her hands to swipe a strand of hair out of her face. " bro, can we start the movie? i'm tryna' hang out with historia later. "

sasha ooo's like a school girl, wiggling her pale, small fingers teasingly at ymir. " you're always with historiaaa~. " sasha has this silly smirk on her face and the brown skinned girl groans from it, flipping her middle finger in her direction.

usually it takes a while to pick a movie. by this time the weed is hitting all of them and blurring the limit for time. they would often scroll through the same list on netflix and not even realize it.

this time is a little different, ymir is in a real rush to get to this 'friend' of hers. she has the tiny roku remote in her fingers as she continuously flicker through the movies. she ultimately stops on a scary movie and clicks the screen. she sends a look around the room for any concerns then actually plays the movie.

before the credits have even started the pop of a chip bag is already sounding around the room and cheesy flavoring is flooding your senses. sasha's wincing with a pouty smile, not realizing how alerting the noise was.

the first scene is a white girl manually popping corn. the volume is low but the surround sound speakers ymir got installed almost a year ago make it seem much louder. it isn't long before that same girl is killed in front of a big front yard.

by the time the movie ends, everyone is pretty much out of it. heads leaning on arm rest's. the lighters have stopped clicking and the smell of weed isn't prominent as it used to be. you'd grown used to that cozy smell. the foggy room is actually clear for the first time in years.

wiping your eyes like a kid, then realizing you had on lashes. you curse underneath your breath. looking around the quiet room, sasha and jean are sleeping soundly. connie was sleep twenty minutes into the movie. you could hear his loud ass snores. ymir isn't even in the room anymore. the second the movie ended she was gone out the front door but not without giving you a loused side hug.

you figured you were the only one functioning correctly and tossed the blanket to the side. the cold sends chill's down your arms but you don't mind it. it feels sort of good. your painted feet hit the tiled floor with a small 'plap' sound and you glance around the room to make sure it hadn't woke anyone up.

" where you going' ? " jumping, the fabric of your white, zip up jacket is grasped. instead of consoling your fear, the mad-man laughs.

" stop laughing bro, i almost had a heart attack. " you pause, taking a breath. " thought yo ass was sleep. " you explain further, standing up fully and getting a good, well hazy look at eren. his phone light is on dim and he's barely bringing it up high enough to make it known he's awake.

both of his shoulders are pretty much in use by the two boys he's squished in between. instead of looking uncomfortable, it looks like he found slight comfort in them being next to him. it's leaving a smile on your face instead of a panicked frown.

he hum's, dropping the dark phone in his lap. " still didn't answer my question. " you tilt your head, thinking back to said question.

when it finally hits your scuzzy mind, you're letting out a soft 'oh!' " no where, well i don't know. i just want some fresh air. " you're falsely admitting, stretching your body to release any tension.

did you really need some fresh air or were the stirs from connie and jean making it known they could wake up and once again take away the little time you had to get to know eren? it's probably the bud thinking for you at this point.

" you can come with me. " turning on your heels, you almost miss the several groans from jean and connie from being pushed aside. " you that eager nigga? " questioning with the slightest amount of tease, he's right behind you in a heart beat.

" nah. " turning back to look at him, he's already looking at your back side with a smirk. his own limbs being stretched out. he slips on his slides and you didn't feel like putting on your boots, so you opted on stealing ymir's flip-flops she kept by the door.

you didn't really plan this far out. it has to be around eleven or so, your to high to drive home, you actually didn't need any air and you can already tell its cold as hell outside. it was just the perfect excuse to get out of that room and into a more private one with eren, no one was going to interrupt your mission.

men are so easy, your practically nodding to yourself. ymir's back door is opened and closed within seconds, the back porch is nicely clean except for a few leaves and dirt that you didn't really care about right now, you swiped some dirt off the second step and shuffled to the left to give him some room.

eren is sitting down on the first step soon after, without the hassle of wiping anything down. now, its quiet and cold, and there's really nothing to say or do when the wind is speaking.

" how long you been in shiganshina? " he asks after long periods of silence.

" my whole life. " your replying, low eyes blurry with the upcoming mist from the weather. " and you? "

" born and raised. " then its quiet again. your messing with your acrylic's , only looking up when a tree bristles loud enough to sound like it might fall.

" those are really pretty. " quirking your head up, it seemed like you're staring into a bottomless pit of beauty. eren's not even paying attention to anything but you and the way your skin is still so moist in such cold air.

its little details on his face you thought you'd already noticed before that have you feining. you squint your eyes. his nose is pierced on the right side. the actually dot isn't a dot like yours. its a silver star that's small but glance worthy when anyone see's it.

his hair looks so healthy, not only in the sun but also in the moonlight. you're kind of jealous of that. even in its normal state in that low back bun, you can tell he isn't using men's one-hundred in one. the wind casts a breeze in your direction, that's giving you another reminder. the soft smell of lemon and something sweet like pineapple's is hitting your nose. such different smells that go rewardingly well on him.

" gimme' your hand. " your obeying it without question, he chuckles at the haste and you dare to drag your hand away. " i'm playing pretty, i just want to see. "

" why? " asking nicely and still letting him slither those slender, tattooed fingers over your bedazzled nails, he's humming again and not answering your question now.

" hello? " rubbing his thumb over your knuckle gently, the calluses of his own has you quietly swallowing. he perks your hand up finally and actually looks at the nails now. " my bad, my mom does nails. " you frown, still not understanding what that has to do with him looking at your hands like a meal.

giving him a better show, you half curl your hand and lay it side ways in his own. your palms touching and forming heat you didn't know you needed to entirely bad. " so? " you mutter, not returning the eye contact you know he has on you.

" nothing, she could just do better than this. " he flaunting out, stretching those delicate fingers ever so slightly. you don't even realize he brings both of your hands down and resting them on his rough lap, you're to focused on the cute little gesture's he's making.

" you letting me meet your mommy already? " it was cute how he wanted to get his mom some new clients, he must be a momma's boy. eren's nodding instead of laughing though, replying with simplicity. " yeah. "

" what's up with you bro. " you chuckle. " i don't even know your birthday and your trying to let me meet your mom's- "

" march thirtieth. " cutting you off, you almost forgot you had even said anything about a birthday. your brain is realtering itself to remember that date when this high is over.

eren's not ashamed to look at the prize he wants. he's been plotting for fucking months and nothing is going to break him out of this. his low, emerald eyes are falling down the pattern of your silver zipper, falling into your lap. undressing those lacey panties he just knows you have on under those pants.

it has you shying away, wanting to turn around in your respectful seat. that's when it hits you. that grip on your hand wasn't from your other one. it's from his, unmoving and finally locking into those intimidatingly attractive eyes, your glancing at those wet lips he managed to always keep looking mushy.

you know they are the softest lips you'd ever feel. like pillows sent from heaven. you grip his hand, no longer just wanting to feel his sweaty palm, but those fingers- his fore arms, his strong shoulders. everywhere he'd allow you.

" eren... " encaging his fingers into a tight hold, he takes a quick look at his thigh. he isn't able to hide the side smile that's forming. you don't even know why you're calling his name, you just wanted him to say something with that slutty voice of his. – just acknowledge you in every way possible.

" yeah? " your beady eyes are watering from the constant pressure of wind and its becoming so fucking obvious you both don't want to be in the cold anymore.

" what are you trying to do? "

" you want me to be honest baby? " baby... that word has you dripping, squeezing your thighs together to take away that ache in your cunt. you nod. you can't find those confident words anywhere in sight. its hard to say men are easy when you're soaking just from being close to him.

" i wanna take you to a room and make you feel real good. " his head is cocking to the left and those eyes he kept on you are dropping lower. his hand twitches in your grasp and it doesn't take much to know he's putting you in eight different positions in his head.

" we don't even have to fuck, i just want to eat your pussy. "

your mouth lathers with saliva, and your standing up to entirely quick. eren is laughing behind you and your so horny you don't even tell him off. you don't care about the three people on the couch sleeping good. you want to take this pretty boy up on his offer.

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⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀

folded up, knees to your chest. the air is hitting your warm pussy. your panting from the littlest touches to your body. plush form being demolished by the stronger man keeping you still. eren has his hands in the bottom creases of your knees, applying pressure that only gives you minimal lay away to move around.

your pussy is leaking on the sheets, all type's of fluid leaving a stain you didn't care for. he's mouthing on your cunt, his spit coating your pussy in a new layer of slick. eren kept his word. he didn't need to fuck you to feel good. he made that known when he took a long lick from your entrance to the top of your cunt in a slow strobe, whimpering hard.

" stop squirming baby. " he's muttering into your pussy, kissing your puffy clit. face full of your cum and arousal. he's so deep in between those legs he can barely breathe. his stubbled chin constantly coming in contact with your needy, waiting entrance.

you cant keep your hands from gripping at any and everything. your holding onto the spare room pillow, covering your face and mouth to keep the others from hearing the total mess you're steady becoming.

" nah, move that. " you don't listen, your voice pouty and muffled in the pillow. eren doesn't have time to play games with you, he's been doing that for months. he snatches the pillow away himself and throws it at the wall.

" i wanna hear you. fuck them. " your spasming on his tongue again before you can speak. weeps of moans falling on deaths door from the amount of pleasure happening on your pretty pussy. your hiccupping from the lack of air entering your lungs, to caught up on the way eren is twisting his tongue over your sensitive clit.

eren's been licking, flicking and sucking on your clit for almost a hour. he just can't get enough of you. you taste so sweet and tarty, its like a fucking desert he can only indulge in. anything your body is willingly to push out for him to taste he's sucking it up.

fucking his tongue in and out of your tight hole, eyes open the entire time to watch you come undone. your hair is sticking to your face, the ginger bringing the caramel out of your skin and aiding your beauty. he didn't think you could get any more sexier.

" fuck baby, " smacking your inner thigh, he gets a breather before he actually dies in the best way possible. " pussy to damn dangerous. " he's huffing and hitting those soft, thick thighs, wanting nothing more than to leave his marks on your skin.

your cute little face scrunches and yelps fill the room, his mouth falling back on those fat lips to get another sample, tasting that sweet juicy fruit. his jaw is hurting and damn near begging for it to end but he doesn't give a fuck. he wants to make you feel good, too good.

your to much of a pretty girl to not have someone in between these legs every day. " 'ren! " eren speeds up, ignoring those pleas. " 'ren, baby please. " you're begging, the knot in your stomach forming from the endless pleasure. you don't know if your begging because its too much or he's to damn good at this and you need to repay him somehow.

– between the base of your thighs being smacked and the vibration of eren moaning, a shock ascends throughout your body. cumming for the third time that night. stars are forming in the far corners of your eyes. it feels like eren has full control of your body. he's keeping you still with only two arms and smirking from how fucked out you already look.

your body is still twitching and it takes a army and every working limb you have to pull him off of you by his hair. he's raspy and to happy for someone who could've died from being to pussy drunk. your chest is heavy and it feels like you can finally inhale properly.

" my bad. " sheepishly apologizing, he plants a soft kiss to your abused clit and toothily smiles when you give him a death stare. gently bringing your knees from your squished chest down, he's kissing your sore knee-caps, wetly sucking on the frontal part of your thighs.

somethings bothering you heavily and its making your chest warm unnaturally seeing him care about every aspect of your body. " why are you taking care of me? "

" whatchu' talking about? "

" this. " you lazily point at his hands that sting a way into your pores. " you kissing on me like you love me and shit. "

" wouldn't go that far. " your rolling your red eyes again and dragging a hand down to your tummy, letting it rest for the time being. " this is mandatory though. you just fuck with the wrong boys. " you want to take it as a stray but actually process it. have you really been messing with guy's who didn't think to care for your body?

it has you recurring every misaligning person you let into your safe space and have a way with your figure. " hey, don't think about it " eren snaps in your face. " that's why i'm here, ima take care of you baby. promise. "

biting your lip, your pushing everything away because he asked you too and something about that foreign feeling doesn't feel to damn bad. you don't have it in you to talk or ask him for anything else, but you spread those legs of yours and beckon him to come here. how can he ever say no to you.

he's shuffling in-between you, applying his hand on one of the pillows next to your head. you stare into his alluring eyes, raking your hand from your own stomach to his. he's gulping, his adam's apple plumping with nerves.

" you wanna fuck me yeager? " he feels like a virgin when you speak like that. anxious and scared to disappoint, he's nodding, bring his head down to plant a soft kiss to your plump lips. just like you thought, they're so pulpy and flush. he kisses like butter, like a piece of bubble gum that's so slinky you almost want to swallow it.

the kiss is deepening with the mood, the fist in his hair is keeping him from cumming in his pants. he almost doesn't want to pull away but he can feel her dripping under him and there's only so much his dick can take before it's begging to be buried inside that soft cushion.

he's making quick work with his clothes. sitting on the balls of his feet, he's tugging his shirt over his head. the sight of his toned chest has you gawking. it's a good thing he only wore comfy clothing, you would've pounced on him the moment he walked into this house.

" take your time... " you joke, casting your surly eyes to the space below your plush tummy. tapping your nails on your stomach. he's already groaning from the sight. you didn't think he could get any faster, he's slipping out of pants and those tight boxers in second.

to say you were disappointed never crossed your mind. you're actually fucking nervous. he's thick, with a healthy pink tip and some inches that make you squeeze your stomach in.

" don't go getting scared on me pretty. " stroking his length, he's bringing your left leg up, kissing the base of your ankle sloppily. his dick is leaking with pre-cum, slouching his tip on your clit. you both let out a soft gasp.

the feeling is euphonic, sensitive clit being brought back to life with one little swipe. your grinding lightly on his tip and he's hissing from how wet she is. " yeah baby, mhmm... you know how to do it. " he praises, his teeth biting into his cheek.

" put it in 'ren. " lifting your hips, you get so close to pushing his dick in and he aids it, his brows knitting, mouth falling open when he aligns it right, sliding into your entrance with ease.

the moan's fall off the wall. he's stretching you so well. the pain almost feels too good. your mouth shaped into a 'o and your hands are fumbling for something new to grab. eren has his head draped down to watch him slip inside of that pussy that cant help but suck him in.

he's whimpering when you clench- moaning when you're folding your legs around him to push in deeper. it's like he can cum from this alone. you just hugging him in has him gapping.

" pussy to fuckin' wet, fuckkk. " he's groaning out in between deep thrusts, pace picking up fast as fuck for someone on the verge of tapping out. your body is following his orders, back arched with intent to make him feel good. eyes rolling from the captivity of his being.

its almost to much when he pushes in to deep, hips runting into your poor cunt like she hadn't been through enough. his tip is ramming into that gushy spot inside of you that has your brain shuttering to working. your mewling loud -- unable to form a single coherent word.

legs pulled tight to hold him in, cunt tightening on his dick making his steady thrust sloppy for mere seconds before he's back to putting in work. dainty fingers coming to rest on his v-line, not pushing but not letting him reach that spot that makes you go fucking crazy. he's silent with how bothered he is about that hand, he knows you're still sensitive and recovering from those heavenly orgasms, but he's to entuned to stop when he knows it'll make you feel so, so good.

" move it. " he's stating with attitude, you refuse to and he only slows down. you whine from the loss. your moaning his name pathetically, lifting your own hips to get that feeling back before its gone. he holds your supple hips down, leaning down to kiss and fondle with your brown nipples.

" e'ren, come on! "

" you gonna keep that fuckin' hand down? " you nod, panting, surprised you were even able to speak in the first place. he's returned that pace little by little, watching your fingers retreat to one of the blue pillows behind your back, eyes closed.

head hanging low, hair coming out of that bun from all the tugging, he almost looks like a greek status above you- one hand on your tummy, squishing it down to feel the cave his dick is making, the other bringing your left leg back to his lips, folding you – he's to caught up in how response you are to his touches.

propping your ankle on his shoulder, leaning down to look you dead in your watery eyes. you cant shy away from nothing now. he's thrusting in deep, pussy gushing all over the sheets and his length. eye's faltering when it comes to keeping that contact.

" i'm so close baby. " he's warning you and your nodding to agree with him, your arms lifting to his neck, dragging him down for a kiss. tongue lacing with his like second nature – eyes shut when that knot in your guts is on the verge of breaking and broken cries are falling in between the kiss.

" gonna cum in you baby, you don't mind that d-do you? " to head-struck, your nodding like a idiot in heat. that gives eren a new goal, he's stroking in like a wild animal, biting his lip so hard it bleeds when you squeeze him.

trying your hardest to keep your moans in, eren pushes in one last time and hits that blurry spot that renders you brain dead. your moaning, clawing on his v'line with that new set to keep him from moving. cunt completely spent and aching again when eren is painting your walls white.

the warm feeling only making it worse, now he cant move or you might regret it. eren's heaving, one hand on the headrest to puff out and rush in the smell of sex, vanilla and shea butter.

" fuckkk i gotta' get you a plan b asap. "

⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀

©𝙀𝙈𝙋𝘼𝙏𝙃𝙄𝘾𝙇𝙄𝘼𝙍 any sort of stealing or modifying is prohibited, mess with your momma not me.

[archangeldyke-all]

i had a crazy thought–imagine sevika's wife saying something that annoys/peeves her just a tiny bit and ceo!sevika doing the most over the top thing the next second.

imagine they live in a huge expensive modern penthouse and sevika's wife says "how come we live in the same house but we don't see each other?" and on the next day sevika is already taking her around to go see houses for sale 😭😭

or when her wife trips over the huge glass coffee table in the middle of the living room, and it's gone in the next hour and replaced by a smaller, cuter coffee table

i just wanna see sevika simping for her wife pls im begging i think she's so so cute 😭😭😭 like a grizzly bear 😭😭😭

this is like the epitome of ceo sevika i love her so fucking much

men and minors dni

you shouldn't be surprised.

this has been happening long before you and sevika were even dating, back when you were just assistant.

you can still remember the first time sevika did this to you. you ran into the office, discombobulated and late, worried that sevika would be upset.

she wasn't upset, though. it was the oppisite. she sighed in relief the moment you walked through the door wrapping you up in a hug. "fuck, i was worried you'd been carjacked on your way here! i can't lose you. not before the board meeting."

you laughed and relaxed in her arms, breathing in her expensive cologne. "sorry. my phone is fucking ancient and can't hold a charge anymore-- it died overnight and my alarm didn't go off."

"hmm." she'd said. at the time, you thought that was it.

then you got home that night, and found three brand new cell phones sitting on your doorstep.

you blinked down at the boxes, confused. a small envelope caught your eye, and you picked it up, flipping it open.

pick your favorite. -s.

the extravagance only grew once you got together.

"ugh, my back is killing me." you complained one morning.

"'s wrong?" sevika asked, a worried look in her eye. you shrug.

"think i pulled something yesterday while restocking the cabinets above the copier." you say.

that night, you pout in confusion as sevika takes the wrong exit off the highway. "where're we going?"

"you'll see."

"awe, sevika, i can't do a date night tonight baby, i feel like shit."

"it's not a date. well, it sorta is... just trust me, okay?" she'd asked. you nodded.

"of course."

sevika pulled the car into a spa parking lot. you frowned. "spatopia? aren't they closed this late?"

"i made a few calls for us." she said with a shrug, kissing you over the center console and then hopping out of the car. she ran around the car, pulling open your door and walking you to the store front.

two hours and two couples' deep tissue massages later; you were both too relaxed to drive home and you had to call an uber. it was one of the nicest gifts of your life.

now that you're married, it's only gotten worse.

you make a passing comment about your couch being stiff, and sevika's taking you furniture shopping that weekend.

you trip over a (incredibly expensive) persian rug in sevika's study more than once and she's rolling it away and buying one that doesn't snag your toes.

you once complained about the lack of legroom in her fucking porsche, so she bought you an suv. she's fucking insane.

and now she's done something truly crazy.

"you bought us a fucking house!?" you squawk. sevika shrugs with a smile. "sevika, we have a house!"

"we have a penthouse. penthouses don't have gardens. you want a garden."

"wh-- i do?!" you ask. sevika laughs.

"yeah, you do. remember? you told me on our first date what your dream house would be. you said something with charm, something you could make your own, something with a yard big enough for a garden and some pets."

the memory is so distant and blurry to you-- at the time you'd mostly just been talking out of your ass and fantasizing. but sevika remembered. because she's incredible.

"y-you're fucking insane." you cry. sevika smiles.

"good or bad?"

"sevika." you break down in tears, wrapping your arms around your wife. she laughs against you, rubbing your back. "y-you can't just buy a house without asking your wife!" you scold. she giggles.

"most people can't-- but we've got the money for it. i could buy you a dozen houses if you wanted."

"no!" you squeak. she laughs. you rip out of her arms to glare up at her. "you have got to stop doing this shit sevika, you're gonna give me a heart attack eventually!"

"you're gonna have a heart attack when you see the main bath in this place." she whispers with a sweet, excited smile. you burst into laughter and pull her in for a kiss. "if you hate it we can just put it back on the market, y'know." she mumbles. you snort.

"well... at least let me see the place first."

sevika grins, big and wide. you shake your head at her, in love and endlessly endeared by her. "i love you. i'd spoil you in any life, but i'm glad in this one i got the money to treat you the way you really deserve." she says.

you sigh dreamily and cup her face. "please tell me there's already a bed in there."

"...yeah, why?" sevika asks. you grin.

"i'm gonna ride you until you're paralyzed from the waist down, baby. c'mon. show me around my new house." you request, tugging sevika into the house by her tie.

sevika follows you with a dopey smile and hearts in her eyes.

taglist!

@fyeahnix @lavendersgirl @half-of-a-gay @thesevi0lentdelights @sexysapphicshopowner

@kissyslut @chuucanchuucan @badbye666 @femme-historian @lia-winther

@lavenderbabu @emiliabby @sevikasbeloved @hellorai @my-taintedheart

@glass-apothecary @macaroni676 @artinvain @k3n-dyll @sevsdollette

@ellieslob @xayn-xd @keikuahh @maneskinwh0re @raphaellearp

@iamastar @sevikitty @mascdom @nhaaauyen @annesunshiner

@mirconreadzztuff22 @veoomvroom @lushh-s3vik4s @katyawooga @lesbodietcoke

@strawberrykidneystone @sevikasfan @fict1onallyobsessed @dvrkhcld @sweetybuzz25

@sluttysierraaa @snake-in-a-flower-crown @ruiwonderz @littlemisszaunite @biblicalcrybaby

@blackgaladriel

[its-weeping]

⤷ 𝐒𝐀𝐂𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐄 𝐕𝐈𝐄𝐖. | gojo satoru .ᐟ

content. ⋆. 𐙚 ̊ fluff, mentions of the itadori trio, soft!gojo, fem!reader, pet names, established relationship

✶ there's a faint chant of whispers all around you, and despite all the stares too, you're scoffing and rolling your eyes. satoru turns to you, face tilted in a tone of question. you pretend not to notice and continue walking, hand gripping his tighter.

he hums with furrowed brows, but the next moment he's scanning the mass of people around you and clicking his tongue at the sight.

"what do you think they're whispering about?"

your boyfriend's voice makes you jump a little, causing you to stagger over a phantom bump on the ground. you spare him a glance—even in your irked mood.

"you probably."

satoru offers a whistle at your response, "i'm flattered you assume that, pretty."

judging by the way he tugs your entwined hands closer to his side, he knows your peeved by all the eyes on him. not to mention the constant whispering as you pass.

"i'm annoyed you think it's an assumption." you mimic a laugh.

your boyfriend doesn't seem to appreciate the sourness in your voice and quickly takes a detour. you call out his name, asking where he was taking you.

"we're gonna be late, 'toru. itadori, nobara, and megumi are already there." satoru only hums—albeit distracted.

he stops just as you enter an alley and before you could get a word in he speaks.

"you don't have to be jealous, you know that right?"

now you're confused, a little flustered even.

"what are you talking about?" the words feel unsure as they leave your mouth. satoru stares you down through his blindfold and you shift under his gaze; you're nervous all of a sudden.

"i'm all yours, baby," your boyfriend affirms, "you don't have to worry your pretty little head over a few people staring." and you realize he's long dropped your hand, instead he's got a hand on your waist and the other cupping your cheek.

"it wasn't just a few people," you mumble out, "but– yeah, i know. it's just a little disheartening having so many people gawk and gossip about your boyfriend when your right there."

he laughs, "you've got a point." and he pouts, "i don't understand how people can overlook such a beautiful, amazingly gorgeous, and sexy woman like you."

you laugh and lightly smack satoru's arm, he only retaliates with a grin and a squeeze of your waist.

it's then that he's pulling you flush against him, "i love you, pretty girl. don't ever forget that." his words make you sag into him more, at this point very content in your boyfriend's hold.

when satoru taps your cheek, you take a peek at him, only to feel the weight of his lips on yours. the shock quickly fades, and soon you're kissing your boyfriend back. his grip on your waist tightens, pulling you so impossibly close that you could vaguely feel how fast his heart was beating as he kissed you.

yeah, you really don't have to worry about losing him.

and then he moves his hand from your cheek to the back of your head to tilt it up more so he could deepen the kiss. it's so full of passion—as if satoru is pouring all his love and affection for you into how his lips slid against yours, how he made sure his hold kept you safe and grounded, how he was so reluctant to withdraw.

you're both heaving as you pull away, eyes wide and lips just a little swollen. satoru smiles—a soft one this time, not the usual coy, flirty ones he flashes you.

"uhm, 'toru..." you start, "we should be going now. the kids are probably wondering where we are."

he shrugs, completely detaching from you in favor of intertwining your hands together once more as he guides you out of the alley, "i'm sure megumi is keeping things under control."

"right, but it's still part of our job to be there." you scold gently.

satoru nods along to your words, "guess you're right, pretty. but we should get some sweets while we're at it too!"

he picks up his pace, leading you to the many stalls and shops lined up ahead. you shake your head at his antics, scanning your surroundings on instinct; people are still staring, gaping at your boyfriend, but it's not a bother to you anymore.

[harpyywarpyy]

“MY BED IS… ALSO YOUR BED?”

Minecraft {The Knocker!} x GN! Reader

A/N: this scenario was inspired by the time I made the knocker a bed and he still picked mine. I just thought it was funny so you get a little one shot about, I think he should have more short fluff fanfics. Also FIRST FANFIC YIPPIE!!

❔Summery❔: Even when you make him his own room in your humble abode, he just likes your bed a little bit more.

❗️Warnings❗️: The Knocker (is a warning itself), slight cursing

❕Content❕: Fluff with slight Crack, Can be seen platonically or romantically, No use of Y/N

——————————————————————————

The cold air felt nice on your skin as you walked the path towards your house. You had just finished another long and excruciating hunt for ores from a cavern just a couple miles away from where you lived. The mobs were, in the politest way you could put it, very troublesome. From skeletons shooting arrows at you, to zombies and whatever other mobs that thought it would be funny for shits and giggles to just attack you at once. But it wasn’t something that you couldn’t handle.

In the end you got most of the stuff that you needed and high tailed out of there. You now get to enjoy the long stroll back home, only bumping into smaller groups of mobs then before. You were relieved to finally go home, take off the armour and rest in the oh so comfortable heaven you called your bed; that is, if HE wasn’t already there, wait for you on it.

You can’t remember how you had met the knocker, it just sort of…happened? You made the one mistake of look him in the eyes one time and he hasn’t left you alone since. Overall, you could say you have a “love and hate” kind of relationship with him. He’d always be knocking on your doors and windows, attacking you whenever you look for too long at him, leaving not so lovely notes for you outside around your property, and by far, the most frequent thing, is waiting for you in your bed.

You could never forget the first time it happened.

•*————————————————————————*•

You had just gotten home from making trades at the village close by when you had opened your door and entered your home. You let out an exhausted sigh and rubbed your face, hoping to calm down the incoming migraine as you make your way towards your room. You still had some chores to do around the house before you finally rest, so you just planned to put your stuff you got in a chest before leaving the house again.

‘God this migraine is gonna be the death of me. I’ll just be happy once I can finally rest in my bed- what the hell-?!’

Opening the door to your room you pause your train of thought as your eyes settle on the familiar figure you have grown accustomed to, as he sat on your bed in a criss-cross manner, slightly slouched as he kept his gaze on you.

“…”

There’s a long pause of silence as you watched each other, waiting for the other to do something first. You were the first one to break the quiet atmosphere. “Hey..?” You greeted him, though it sounded more like a question rather than a simple hello.

He tilts his head to the side, continuing to stare silently at you before a wicked grin crawled in his face, his body shacking before disappearing, leaving black particles to float softly onto the bed and dissipating into nothing. Another moment of silence passes as you stare at the now empty bed.

“…WHAT THE FU-“

•*————————————————————————*•

Ever since that moment he had made it a common accuracy to wait for you at home; in your bed. Or sometimes you’d just be sleeping and the next thing you know you’re waking up to the sight of him looking over you, breathing heavily before giving you that stupid, face overtaking grin and disappearing once again. You could say it’s become one of your many “pet peeves” as you put it.

You’ve tried everything to make him stop. You’ve tried telling him personally to stop being in you bed, which only earned you a good pinch to the side from him before disappearing once more. Then you tried bribing him with some cake; which then lead to getting a small punch. Hell, you even made him a room and he still picks your bed over it.

You had add some things that you thought he would like, and when you first showed him your room you thought that he would be pleased and leave your bed alone, only for him to instantly teleported away, only to find him in your room soon after.

Your thoughts stop once you’ve reached the doors of your home, letting a long sight out as you open the door, hoping that your bed would be vacant so you can call it a night.

‘Let’s just hope he’s not here tonight’ you thought to yourself. Closing the door behind you, you put your armour back on its designated stand, along with your equipment in the chest next to it, before making a be-line towards your room.

You stop at the entrance to your room when you hear the familiar sound of heavy breathing on the other side of the door. “Of course he’s here…” you sigh out loud, banging your head lightly on the door before opening the door, slowly peaking your head in, then opening it fully with a deadpanned expression on your face.

There he was, in all of his glory, sitting on your bed the same way he did the first time. Staring nonchalantly at you as you grumble incoherent words to yourself, rubbing your face out of exhaustion and irritation before speaking. “Why must you always insist on being in my bed when I’ve made a room just for you?”.

You stare at him, waiting for any sort of response from him. But all you get from him is the usual head tilt and quiet stare. Your eyebrow twitches a little before you just decide to ignore him and head to a chest made specifically for hoarding ore, and begin to put the materials in to it.

As you focus on putting the materials, you could feel his gaze on your back as he watch you silently, you then heard the sound of the knocker teleporting. You thought that he had probably left, seeing as how you might not have given him the reaction he wanted. You had let out a sigh of relief as finished putting the ores you collected away. You could now go to bed and sleep peacefully, or so you thought.

When you turned around to head to bed, you didn’t expect to bump into something wall like. When you get a good look at what you bumped into you let out a small shriek as you see the knocker standing in front of you, A little too close to you for comfort. You can practically feel his hot breath on you face. Your frown deepens, gaze hardening as you glare at him.

“What- what do you want now!?” You stuttered out loudly towards him. He tilts his head for who knows how many times now, before that same spine chilling smile makes it up to his face. You freeze slight in place, a little frightened as a bead of sweat slowly drops down your face.

Though, that doesn’t last long as the knocker extends his arm out you grab yours, making you let out a yelp, before flinging you onto your bed roughly. Your let out a groan of discomfort as you rubbed you arm, lifting yourself up slightly as you turn to ask him what the hell that was for, only to stop yourself as he towers over you from the edge of the your bed, walking slowly closure to you as if you were his pray.

You clench you fist, ready to fight back it you have too. That is, until he grabs your shoulders and pushes you down onto the bed before letting go and… starting to tuck you in?

‘…Okay, what the fuck is happening right now??’ You questioned to yourself.

Once he’s done tucking you in he goes to sit on the other side of the bed, facing towards you in a the usual crisscross manner as he stares at you, patiently waiting for something to happen. You open your mouth to try and speak again, but your cut off once you feel a hand placed on top of your head, lightly petting it as if you were some sort of pet.

Okay, seriously, WHAT WAS THIS GUYS DEAL? Not even moments ago it felt like he was going to attack you and now he’s petting you? Like damn, does he want to kill you or nah, just make up his mind already!

Your pulled out of your thoughts once you hear an unfamiliar voice speak out to you.

“Sleep” a deep, soothing yet unsettling voice said. You realise it came from the knocker himself. Your eyes widen slightly at this new discovery. Not once have you ever heard a peep, let alone coherent words, come out of his mouth. He’d only speak to you through signs or small notes, most of them being words of mockery towards your “lack” of self awareness.

You eyes lids start to grow heavy as he continues to petting you gently, the only response you could make was a quiet human you shut your eye lids and slowly fall into a deep slumber, you had only one thought before sleep took over you.

‘I guess sharing my bed wouldn’t be so bad, right?’

[mavnagerie]

big love

* luffy may be too experimental for his own good…

monkey d. luffy x reader

summary: the strawhats have stopped at an uninhabited island for the night and you and luffy go out for a walk. well when he goes gear 5 to get big so he can show you the island from above… things get freaky 🤓

warning: no proofread we die like men. this isn’t super long. pre established relationship (luffy x reader, slight zoro x reader x luffy). kinky; sorry. gear 5 luffy. GIANT! gear 5 luffy. holding you in his palm and having his way with you. cunnilingus and grinding. no dicks here today (aside from one mention at the end). public ish sex. (i might be forgetting something im just so exhausted)

authors note: requests are open

luffy was always a confident and kind guy, deserving of the honor that had been bestowed upon him when his devil fruit powers had grown with him as a person.. but now you’re sitting here, watching as luffy, exploring his new form, shifts his body like he had never had his powers to begin with. floating in front of the two of you, his hair moved like the clouds in the sky around his face.

lying on the deck of the sunny next to zoro, you both watched as luffy grew and shrank his arms and legs, but deep down luffy knew that he could grow to immense heights, big enough to hold the sunny in the palms of his calloused hands. he could jump kaido like jump rope if he so pleased yet he was sitting here playing with his limbs like a child playing with his toys.

sighing, you laid your head on zoros chest. “wake me up when he’s done dicking around and actually wants to relax” you mumble as you quickly doze off, a bad habit you had picked up from both zoro and luffy. sooner or later, zoro is asleep too, as luffy continues to goof off.

although you and zoro had been asleep, the rest of the crew decided amongst themselves that you would dock for the night on an island that seemed a little uninhabited, at least on the side you all had stopped on. although the sunny had plenty of food and resources for the straw hats, being on land for a night wasn’t always bad.

being hooked awake by luffy was one of zoros biggest pet peeves so he always shook you awake first so that you could wake up zoro.

“y/n… cmon wake up..” he shakes your arm, taking your hand and kissing it. “cmon!” he’s patiently waiting like an obedient dog as he hears you begin to stir awake.

“whats wrong luffy?” you blink your eyes at him before realizing the sun was sitting and you three were the only ones left on the ship.

“nothing princess, we’re stopped for the night. get up so we can go eat dinner” he smiles, nodding to zoro, asking you to wake him up. you can’t help but smile at his cute face before sitting up, leaning over zoro, finding his hand and gently squeezing it before shaking him just a little. you whispered to him before he woke up, groaning in your face.

“cmon get up big guy..” you smiled, kissing him before standing up next to luffy. you walked past him, he watched as the skirt around your waist formed to your body as you stood. before you felt his big hands around you, stretchy arms pulling you back into his chest.

“do i not get a kiss?” he looks down at you, with such a pathetic sad look on his face. turning around in his arms, your arms wrapped around his neck, pulling him down into a kiss. zoro is now standing next to the two of you, looming over the both of you as you pulled away from luffy. you kicked your leg up as you popped off of your foot, going to grab a book before meeting the others to go down to the rest of the crew.

“you ready?” luffy commented as zoro had already made his way down to the camp site. you smiled as he grabbed you, using his stretchy arms to grab ahold of a tree before pulling you and him both down to land. doing stuff like that with him had always made you nervous but it was something about his hold on you, around your waist, that made you trust him.

getting down to the rest of the crew, they smiled at your presence. sanji asking you if you wanted anything, totally ignoring luffy and zoro. as you sat between the two, sanji only glared at them as he handed you a drink.

the night proceeded as usual, stories and laughs shared by the straw hats resounded in the pit of the forest right off the coast. the sunny bobbed in the ocean peacefully while the night grew colder. the fire between the 10 members burned bright but there came a time where they all needed more wood. while almost everyone had done a task beforehand , there sat you, luffy and zoro who had been the lazy ones upon the stop.

namis voice rang in your ears as you woke up from drifting off against zoros shoulder. “hey! can you and luffy go get some more wood??” she said looking down at the two of you. you blinked at her… she looked annoyed. ‘OH. luffy is being frustrating. got it.’ you connected the dots in your head as you sat up, nodding to her.

grabbing luffys hand, you just ran off into the forest. “come on luffy.” you groaned.

———————

the two of you had turned your little trip to the forest for wood into a romantic little walk, walking hand in hand until you were both sitting at a ledge somewhere on the island looking over the starry sky.

“the ocean is really calm tonight.. did we really need to stop?” your voice was soft, wrapping around luffy and holding him like a warm blanket. he liked hearing you talk, he loved listening to the words that left your lips like a king listening to the jester aim to amuse him. he didn’t have much of an answer so he just shrugged as he put his hand over yours.

an idea struck luffy and before he even remembered to say anything to you, he was standing again.

“oh are you ready to go back?” you looked up at him as he stood over you, steam rose from his skin and you already knew what he was about to do, scooting back a bit as his hair grew white and his clothes shifted with him.

“no, i wanna show you something.” he speaks through the clouds of his hair covering his face before they cleared. luffy transformation from regular old luffy to gear 5 has become progressively easier for him, almost on command at this point, so when he does this it’s nothing new but maybe seems like he’s showing off… which you didn’t mind. you liked seeing your beautiful captain all confident and happy, but sometimes he took advantage of how much you loved seeing his confidence.

beginning to stand up to let him show you whatever he had planned in his head, you watched as he got a running start, throwing himself off the side of the ledge.

“LUFFY-“ your voice escaped you in a worried shout before you watched the ledge, a gasp leaving you as his body grew past the size of ledge. his feet planted in the ocean as he grew larger than life, towering over you like a skyscraper. you were speechless, knowing he had this ability but barely able to fathom the idea of him being this big.

he crouched down, waving at you with a big smile. “luffy!!” you shouted, grinning ear to ear despite the shock in your voice.

“what princess??” he speaks, lowering his tone so he wouldn’t be so loud to you or frankly, the rest of the island.

“you’re so…” you laugh before he reaches his hand out.

“big? i know!! now get on, i wanna show you the island” his hands were out in front of you, cupped together like a landing pad just for you. as you stepped onto his fingers, you roll into his palm with a small “uph” as he cups his hands around you, cradling you so you don’t fall.

you pull your long skirt back down your legs, covering them as you find a comfortable place to sit in the dip of his large hands.

“you’re so cute, princess” he smiled down at you before standing up again. he could see the sunny from this side of the island, he was sure they could probably see luffy from over the treetops if they stood on the sunny but regardless they were clueless to his gargantuan form. the sun had long set over the horizon so as the stars dotted the skies, luffys smile seemed to beam brighter. he held his wrists close to his chest , opening up his palm so that you could see the island from above, watching the sea from high up as well.

“isn’t it so cool?” he smiled, watching as you observed in awe.

“is this really what you see?”

“always..” he smiles. bending his finger back to you, you placed your hand on his fingertip, holding it while you stood up. he watched as the skirt around your legs shook with the wind, observing your hair and how your eyes glowed under the stars. standing there in his hands, he brought another finger up to your stomach, tickling you, wanting to hear your laughter. you buckled over giggling as his fingertip pressed against your belly.

“luffy quit!!” you giggled as you feel back into his hands. he then lowered you closer to the ground again, leaning down into the water, sitting down with you in his hands. he grabbed you with one, holding you gracefully between his fingers, the meat of his middle finger pressed right between your thighs. a sigh left you as he held you there, holding his finger out to you with his other hand.

his ears almost perked up at the noise. “what was that??” he teased. your face was flushed. “n-nothing!” your face was flushed, getting embarrassed. but his hair billowed around his head as he got a little excited, wanting to hear that precious noise again. a noise neither him nor zoro ever heard enough. “cmon.. do it again!” he whines cheekily, moving his finger underneath you again, hoping you’d react. you held in your voice to spite him, although your face did nothing to hide the pleasure growing between your thighs.

“it’s like when you ride zoros thighs..” he mumbles, watching as you succumb to his wangs and begin idly to grind yourself on the space between his knuckles. he uses very delicate touches to take the fabric of your skirt between two of his fingertips and pulls it up, wanting to watch as your panties dampened with pleasure. you began to fold to him, scared of his size due to luffys recklessness but he began to prove to be just as gentle when he’s 20x your size than he would be regularly.

“is this okay, princess??” he thought he’d ask just in case, even though you’ve become to seem like you’re enjoying yourself. your hands now planted on his finger, grinding up against him.

“yes luffy…” your voice escaped you in a moan , noticing as he moves his fingers in order to pleasure you.

luffy relaxed, watching as you let yourself go, grinding against his finger as you’d do to his thigh in the past. he used his finger tip from his free hand to lift your chin, wanting to see your face. seeing how your lips parted, your tongue resting on your lower lip as you panted through your moans, feeling almost helpless to his gaze.

“cmon princess.. cum for me” his breath was warm, arousal spreading in a dark flush across his cheeks. he noticed your grinding was becoming more sporadic, as your moans grew louder, crying out for him while rubbing your wet pussy against him. his name poured from your lips as you came, falling forward onto his finger while writhing against him. your hips pushing against him as he placed another finger over your back to keep you stable.

as you recovered from your orgasm, you sat up, with his finger still between your thighs. he took his other hand, grabbing you gently before placing you back on the ground, close to the ledge of the cliff.

“you’re so cute..” he mumbles, petting your hair back gently as he sank down further into the ground, being closer to you. his nose close to your face. your eyes were lidded as you stared up at him, wanting to grab his nose in an endearing sense but still being clouded by arousal.

“can you eat me out?” you asked, bluntly, knowing what you wanted from him but not knowing any better way to ask.

“like this?? giant and all??” he tilted his head to the side, not even really realizing you’d want to keep going.

“mhm” you hummed, your face pink with embarrassment, taking your skirt and pulling it up, exposing your panties to him.

“i can try, but i don’t wanna hurt you, princess” he plants his hands down next to you, his fingers caressing your skin from your stomach to your legs. he watched you intently as you slowly pulled your panties off. the pad of his thumb found your pussy, rubbing over it, watching as it glistened under his finger. you bit back a moan as his aimless touch sent a shock through you.

“fuck” he mumbles to himself. “you’re so small..” he knows how delicate you are, how he can just hold you in the palms of his hands. how any movement could hurt you so he had to be gentle. no foreplay could’ve prepared you for his tongue against your pussy.

leaning in, you watched as his warm mouth opened, his tongue falling against your wet pussy. warm and rough, rubbing perfectly onto your clit. the noises leaving you were perfect as he squeezed his fingers around your thighs, holding them apart so his lips can close around your mound, sucking and licking at anything he could.

his name fell graciously from your lips as he stimulated your clit, pressing his tongue as precisely as he could against it, humming so you’d feel it. this caused you to jolt, resulting in him pressing his finger tips against your hips in order to keep you down.

“fuck nothing will ever top this, luffy..” you whined. luffy knew how good zoro could fuck you, how good he could fuck you. and this was an ego boost. knowing you were coming up on a loss at words as his tongue throbs against your needy clit. you watch as his lips pull away from your mound, his tongue finding its way to your hole, teasing you.

luffy licked at your folds like a dog on a hot day licking at its water bowl. what would’ve been kitten licks in his normal size were almost orgasm inducing swipes across your clit. you were in desperate need of being filled by something by the way your pussy clenched around nothing, throbbing.

“you’ve been such a good princess” he speaks softly, praising you after your moans and cries blessed his ears once more. “you wanna feel me inside, don’t you..” he grins cheekily, watching as you nod, your cheeks red and your eyes lidded. you just needed your pirate king…

his tongue narrows, pressing the tip of his tongue to your hole, pushing past your folds as he tasted your pretty cunt.

“oh luffy..” you sighed as he filled you out. your hands held onto his fingers that wrapped around your thighs. holding onto him tight as you ground yourself onto his tongue. you babbled as his tongue moved inside of you. gentle for him but rough for you.

he could feel your tiny hands gripping around his fingers just a little harder. your eyes almost squinted shut as you watched him close his mouth around your pussy again, sucking in so he could stimulate your swollen clit.

you could feel yourself coming close as you continued to grind helplessly on his tongue. his name was slurred in your words as overstimulation and his warm tongue mixed together to create a perfect storm off the side of this islands cliff.

“f-fuck.. luffy i’m gonna..” your head tilted back, hitting that peak. “fuck i’m gonna cum..” you could hear him but especially feel him as he hummed against your pussy, acknowledging your words. he pulled you closer against him with ease, stuffing you as full as he could get you, without breaking you open.

sucking at your clit, you felt that winding knot that had been building and building break, snapping into a million pieces are your back arched off the ground, crying his name into the forest as you came on his tongue. he groaned happily around your pussy, watching as you writhed against him. slowly he pulled away, watching as you begged for him to stop overstimulating you.

he was slow to pull his tongue away from your drenched cunt, watching as a string of his spit connected to your wet cunt. he left a quick kiss to your wet pussy before finally letting go of you. he rubbed his thumb over your belly.

“you okay, princess?” he asked, watching as you slowly relaxed again. you had covered your face when releasing his fingers, you uncovered your face as you looked up at him, nodding.

“w’so good..” you mumbled, your cheeks flushed. you watched as your precious man had began to shrink back down to his normal size, holding onto the cliff so he could throw himself back up to your level.

once he had done so, his hair began to steam again, turning back into his normal self, while he found you on the ground, pulling you into a kiss. “you did so good for me, princess. we should do that again some time.”

“we should” you smiled against his lips, your fingers in his thick black hair, pulling him in again. “you’re rock hard right now though, i can feel it against my leg..” you giggle.

“i am. i wasn’t going to say anything though, i knew you’d be tired.” he shrugged.

“don’t worry baby, i’ll take care of it. just give me a few minutes and i’ll let you fuck me.” you smiled as you moved to kiss his neck, tasting his salty skin against your lips.

“i love you, luffy.” you leaned back to look up at him with a soft smile on your cheeks.

“i love you too, princess”

[clairdelunelove]

jealous!yuuji who adamantly snuffs out any attempts of flirtation directed towards you– even if you aren’t his

jealous!yuuji who’s stuck in the predicament of staying close friends with you. it’s an awkward struggle to teeter in-between the edge of what he wishes and reality. he’s a relatively decent guy. although he doesn’t have much he doesn’t need fancy ways or shiny things to gift you. instead, he gazes at you with honest eyes, takes your cold hands in his warm ones, and always remembers to lower his voice when you’re sleeping beside him. it’s genuine, authentic– him. and you’re on cloud nine. he catches the way your eyes flicker to his lips while he’s talking or how you borrow his sweatshirt more than once. but the two of you never speak a word about it. never owned up to any feelings in fear of losing the friendship you both shared. so it’s no wonder there are times like these where yuuji has to endure the flirtatious remarks thrown your way while the two of you are spending the day at the local arcade. and does yuuji blame the other person for finding you attractive? no, not completely. because you’re dazzling underneath the arcade’s fluorescent lights. vibrant shades of ruby, emerald, and gold dance off your soft features. takes every ounce of willpower within him not to gawk at you whenever he treats you to these outings. so he stands there, stiff and silent, as you toss him a desperate glance to bail you out of the situation. but you both know there’s nothing he can do. you’re not his. vaguely, he wonders if this qualifies as cruel and unusual punishment. it isn’t until the stranger pushes his luck, gets a bit too handsy with you, and yuuji– the sweetest and most selfless guy you know– snaps. 

jealous!yuuji who instinctively reaches for your wrist when the stranger treads into your personal space. forgotten is the overpriced game that the two of you were in the middle of playing. yuuji had shoved his game-card into the machines’ slots (paying for yours in the process) and playfully mentioned how you wouldn’t be able to beat his high score. it’s a basketball game, of course. but now the game’s final buzzer rings to signal that the timer’s up and your game was cut short because of this brassy stranger. your face whips to yuuji, a call for him to help, and the blushy haired male is already reacting. he’s aware that’s one of your biggest pet peeves so it’s no wonder you’re startled. long fingers wrapped around your skin, he checks in with you by gently murmuring, “you okay?” you nod, focusing on how his brows crease as his hand moves to cradle your face and gauge your reaction. honeyed eyes skitter across your face, stopping just a second longer on your glossy lips. a couple moments pass before he’s dropping his grasp onto you and stuffing his hands back in his pockets. he’s so tense over such a small incident and the ideal causes your cheeks to warm. “I’m good, yuu. thanks,” you answer before the moment is interrupted by the overbearing stranger. “look, my bad. but,” the guy rubs at the back of his neck and explains, “you’re really pretty and I just wanted your number.” it’s not often you’re complimented in public so you’re compelled to force a sheepish smile, unable to detect how yuuji goes rigid at the statement, and apologize, “sorry but I’m not interested. thank you though.” you’re polite about it yet the flirt (apparently) isn’t used to getting turned down because he’s frowning. “it’s ‘cuz of your friend here, isn’t it?” then, the guy gives a pointed stare at yuuji’s closeness with you.

jealous!yuuji who’s peculiarly irate and blurting out, “friend?” his voice is unusually sharp. it’s like he’s spitting out venom when he says the word. taking a step in front of you, he uses his broad physique to cast a shroud over you. and you’re reminded just how wide his muscled shoulders are from under the faded cotton of his jacket. makes you dizzy. the swirls of forbidden desire biting at you. the stranger only shrugs in response to yuuji’s inquiry, muttering, “yeah. she’s not your girl right?” and yuuji clenches his jaw as he discerns the audacity of the other male’s words. taking yuuji’s silence in stride, the flirt makes a grab at your wrist and mentions, “so how about that number, beautiful–” but yuuji’s quicker. his calloused hand swats at the guy’s before he can tug you towards him. the smack produces a blow that you’re certain will sting until tomorrow morning. “she said no so get your hands off her, dude,” yuuji’s voice drops as his gaze narrows, “and don’t ever pull that crap around me again.” his expression is deadpanned. serious to the point of lethality. and if anyone knows anything about yuuji– it’s that he can fight. combat experience, power, stamina; he’s got it all. yet, it’s almost unnerving to hear such a tone of voice coming from him since you’ve only ever seen him upbeat. the stranger appears even more frightened than you are, though. a glance at yuuji’s veiny, muscled forearms and the guy is stumbling through a weak apology; even scurries away and leaves the both of you alone again. idle in the middle of the arcade. you stare up at him, only met with the back of his head where little tufts of blushy hair stick out underneath his backwards cap. yuuji’s eyes are still trained on the guy’s retreating figure. he exhales heavily once the stranger is completely gone but doesn't let his guard down. a beat of silence passes and the realization that he’d just scared off one of your potential suitors has his eyes widening in alarm. 

jealous!yuuji who, when he whips around to face you, expresses the epitome of innocence. his pink lips are set in a pout that adds to the sheepishness written on his face, “sorry, I don’t know what came over me–” but to his shock, you’re laughing. you’re in full hysterics, clutching at your stomach and covering your mouth to maintain some sense of decency despite your giggles. usually yuuji’s nerves would settle from hearing that melodic sound but he’s stumped. genuinely baffled at your reaction to the whole ordeal. “what’re you laughing at?” he asks as his head whips to the direction the stranger sprinted off to and adds, “I don’t see anything funny.” and the pure bewilderment that he expresses is too amusing. “sorry, I just,” you take a breath and gesture to his face, “I’ve never seen you that mad before.” and the notion of why he wouldn't be irritated crosses his mind. “oh c’mon,” yuui huffs almost childishly, “you and I both know what he was trying to do.” he declares this like it’s the most obvious trick in the book. and when you quizzically tilt your head at his comment, a habit you do that never fails to make him swoon, he’s sputtering on his words. “you’re joking, he was literally flirting with you,” he swipes an exasperated hand over his face as his voice borders a whine, “while I was there!” and you can’t help but realize how much boyish charm yuuji carries with him. he gazes at you; starlight eyes looking into yours like you hold his heart in your hands. truly, it’s sensible to him– this vex that crept up on him like a monster and encompassed his entire being due to a singular person’s act. an inkling of bitterness that he’s never been greeted with. never felt the need to keep what’s important to him close. to encompass it: mind, body, and soul. perhaps his feelings towards you were stronger than he imagined. 

jealous!yuuji who’s immediately dropping his uncharacteristic frown once your hands reach for him. he’s easily lulled into your space. you just have a magnetic pull that he never opposes and he doesn’t plan to any time soon. a soothed breath passes his lips when he recognizes your fingers brushing underneath his backwards cap. a small gesture that always works to relax him. leaning forward, he positions himself so it’s easier for you to smooth the strands of his tousled hair from where it’s hidden from view. “that jerk could’ve asked anyone else for their number,” he grumbled, breaking the stillness. you glance at him as he chews at his lower lip, sulking at the audacity of the stranger that found you attractive. you’re giggling at his honest display of affection and the sound is like a balm over his unease. understanding that alleviates his spite. “are you jealous, yuu?” you tease but your voice is sweet. and you’re wholeheartedly expecting him to retort, in true yuuji fashion, but his silence stuns you. instead, he turns to bury his face in the crook of your neck, breathing in your candied perfume, and relishes your embrace. he’s smitten by you. entirely. and you’re glancing to the side in a daze, memories and possibilities of the two of you dancing in your mind. a dream that you frequent more than you care to count. after a couple moments he pulls away with both hands grasping your shoulders. pure devotion drips from his eyes. you’re suddenly getting hot around the collar of your shirt and the tips of his ears are flushed but it was clear; this secret that was known between the both of you. the undeniable truth that yuuji was jealous– over you. and you jolt when he quietly (finally) mumbles, “I just didn’t like that too much, alright?” 

[ronearoundblindly]

Hi Lexi, long time reader for your blog here (I adore your hideout series and your most recent fratboy!Ari). I hope your day is going well 🥰🖤

I have a request for your character headcanons list….

What do you think are each of the Cevans characters pet peeves? Like we all know Steve doesn’t like chip crumbs on the bed 😆 maybe you can even add dealbreakers too.

This was pretty difficult, actually, because it could be so many things... I didn't want to limit it to everyday (or sexual) specifics, so these may get a bit meandering in spots because, yeah, there's just so much! Nothing explicit but there's mention of *stuff* for some of the guys.

James Mace

Surprises. He's tried to get better about well-intended surprises, like parties or gifts, but mostly Mace hates them. He enjoys planning. He's comfortable when he knows what the f*** is going on. That's a practical desire, just let him prepare, please.

Also has a weird thing about using his first name. He prefers 'Mace' and not only because 'James' is so common. No 'Jim' or 'Jimmy' or 'Jamie.' Nope. For a while, in training, he was fine with 'Jay' because every instructor had J. Mace written on their class roster, but once he was done with all that? Over it. Doesn't make sense for anyone to use anything but his last name.

Both of these pet peeves translate to no-nos in the bedroom, too. You want to try something new? Do not spring it on him mid-sex. And do not call him a variation of his first name; it's not sexy to him. Nicknames are okay as long as they aren't squishy-soft, nothing childish in any way.

Mind games are an absolute deal breaker for him. Mace doesn't find them cute or playful. He will irish goodbye even a longterm relationship if he finds out they were trying to manipulate him. He will not wait for an explanation.

Curtis Everett

Food waste, go figure, and little white lies that have no point. Mostly it's the fibs or boasting that people say to his face that really bother Curtis. Why? In a speech or something, fine, but he's not going to trust anything about someone who thinks it's necessary to lie to him specifically.

The food thing is pretty self-explanatory for someone who grew up hungry.

I don't think it's a deal-breaker, per se, but Curtis is wildly against fighting in a relationship, either verbal or physical. It makes him deeply uncomfortable to be yelled at or berated, and that's an unpleasant memory he isn't likely to ever truly forgive and forget.

Jimmy Dobyne

Being told what to do. Being called 'stupid' or 'simple' (with any hint of sincerity). Jimmy gets ordered around enough for work. He's already treated like an unskilled grunt. He won't tolerate it at home and doesn't need to, frankly. He can tell when someone is saying he's dumb in a joking manner or using 'simple' in a complimentary way. Fine. Even of whiff of bitterness or meaning it, he's going to be pissed.

There's no grey area in cheating for Jimmy, somehow more so than the others. He could have neglect you for years, and at even a hint of your eyes wandering, he's furious. No, I don't like this about him, and I don't agree with it, but it's true. He's observant, not reasonable.

Johnny Storm

Hilariously opposite of Mace, Johnny is annoyed by everything having a practical reason. That kills spontaneity and might as well kill him. He also hates having to explain himself constantly. If he has the impulse to do it, don't question every little thing. Johnny finds that exhausting.

Hilariously opposite of Jimmy, Johnny will not stand for a clingy or possessive partner. That's too much seriousness. That's too much responsibility. Ack, no.

Jake Jensen

Computer/tech illiteracy, and this one Jake is sorta low-key about. He actually doesn't like that he's so frustrated by this, but he can't help it. If he explains something well, once, he expects you to grasp most of it. Nothing unbelievably detailed, but Jake needs basics to be basic for you.

Deal-breakers? Being critical of his body or how he lives. Like he knows hacking in his boxers is stupid and childish and that he eats like a heathen when not in public, but don't harp on it. Jake's gotta enjoy the little things in life. His alone time is his.

Lloyd Hansen

At least 95% of human behavior infuriates Lloyd, and it is impossible to tell exactly which behavior will cause him to snap on any given day. To date him is to live on eggshells; he could flip a switch at any moment.

Lloyd is particular about one thing: he's annoyed by trying without confidence, i.e. don't attempt to be dominant in the bedroom without going 100% all-in. He can't stand that. It's so tedious. He is not a reassuring man. That's a waste of his time.

Ari Levinson

Unrealistic expectations of the human body. Assuming he just automatically knows things and can do them.

Ari hates being volunteered to do 'manly' tasks without the person asking him. Contrary to popular belief, he doesn't know how to build or fix everything exactly the right way. He wasn't born with a damn tool box in his hand. He can't lift everything by himself on a whim. Check with him first, and for goodness sake, pay for the professional sometimes.

Same vein but too much responsibility is a deal-breaker for Ari. Moving too fast and demanding he change the way he lives or how he spends his personal time will drive him away like 🫰🏼 that.

Ransom Drysdale

Prying. Ran f***ing hates prying.

Now, gossiping about others? All. Day. Long. However, Ransom appreciates having an air of mystery...or just people pissing off. His life is not the stuff of chitchat.

Ran has a lot of deal-breakers. He doesn't know what they are yet, but they're everywhere. Sometimes liking vaguely different food is enough to never see someone again. He's very fickle.

Andy Barber

Tidying his things. He'll lose it if his orderly-chaos is disturbed. This only counts for work stuff. Like Andy actually appreciates the help keeping his closet and drawers nice or his side of the sink organized, but, okay, it's work papers/files and where stuff is in the kitchen that are the no-nos. Don't move a bunch of things in the kitchen without letting him know and explicitly showing him.

Oddly enough, Andy doesn't have any deal-breakers that come to mind. He's pretty laid back for a big shot lawyer. Maybe embarrassing him in public or with his boss/coworkers would be too much, but even then, it would have to be done in poor taste or malicious for him to call a relationship quits over.

Steve Rogers

Technically, it's Fools Rush In Steve who is deeply against crumbs in the bed. I believe, of the various Steves, FRI is the most strict in this hatred; everybody else is *annoyed* by crumbs, as anyone would be with grit in their sheets.

Steve Rogers is also a deeply understanding man. He wants a good partner, a good human being, and that would mean flaws. His dealbreakers are cruelty and mind games. Steve has no patience for someone (in his inner circle) manipulating him or his friends/family. If/when it's part of your job, sure, but he draws the line at home. Never bring that home or it's over. He also won't tolerate someone mean to others (without very good reason) or animals (zero acceptable circumstances).

Bucky Barnes

Ok, so, now that Bucky is free of the Hydra brainwashing, he has lots of pet peeves. It's his form of asserting some control in his environment (and his mind), so he doesn't really want certain colors around, he likes his stuff exactly where he puts it--even if the placement doesn't make sense to you,--and he gets picky with sound. When Buck is at home or has his promised downtime, he needs control over that. I'm not talking about an oppressive control, but he has so few choices working with a large group that Bucky wants to pick his own damn music sometimes--or silence.

Inability to slow down and let him have some real quiet/alone time/control is the ultimate dealbreaker. He will treat you so well, do every single thing you want to...most of the time, but give him that tiny bit of peace. Otherwise, Bucky will go insane for real.

Thank you so much for reading and asking!

[Main Masterlist; Who Would... Masterlist; Ko-Fi]

[shattered-system]

The “Redefinition” of Systempunk

Updated version!

We're not typically an essay kind of blog, but there's something l've been turning over in my mind since l've seen it.

I have the post pulled up now actually, and about 11 hours ago @/the-alarm-system "recoined" (stole) the term systempunk in a long post, as well as designed a flag with its own meaning and I want to sort through some of it.

I also have a few personal pet peeves about their flag design, given that it's color palette clashes and the flag is way too busy. I don't expect it to spread far given that it violates several rules of good design (saying this as someone who has been to school for graphic design.)

I will not post it here, because I don't care to spread it any more than this post already may.

Their flag slightly predates my own version of the systempunk flag, but given that theirs was created for a separate concept with a stolen name, I maintain that we were the first.

We begin with their definition of systempunk.

“A term or Subculture surrounding the liberation of plurals and the critique of psychiatry."

First issue lies here. Both the destigmitization of dissociative disorders and critique of the psych field are extremely important discussions to have!

But they are separate discussions. There is absolutely overlap, but combining the two here is kind of shooting yourself in the foot, because then the conversation in that tag will be disorganized.

Have a systempunk movement AND an anti-psych or psych-critical movement. That way people can easily find the relevant discussions and terms.

This is followed up with a bit about the harm the psychiatric field has caused (not delving into that as that's not what this blog is about) and then circle back onto "the future is plural."

This is not one of the instances where OP means it in the "the future is destigmitization" sense, as they are pro endo. (On a side note, even ignoring the endo use of the phrase-- if I need to read about a slogan to understand the meaning of the slogan, it's a bad slogan. The point of a slogan is to communicate a concept quickly.)

The flag has black and brown stripes akin to the progress flag to represent systems of color, which is the only part of the design we have no critique for, but are describing anyway just as a bit of information.

The purple stripe stands for:

“Endo solidarity... endogenic systems are continuously harmed by antis who remain uncritical of psychiatry."

Once again, we are mixing two expansive concepts into one term.

The term anti-endo doesn't imply a position one way or the other on the psychiatry discussion.

Some anti-endos swear by the DSM5, others don't. Anti-endo is a term that means anti-endo/ endo-critical. That is all it means.

There is a difference between holding the DSM as the complete authority on mental illness and saying that a trauma disorder is caused by trauma.

I'm not sure if OP knows that and is choosing to cast anti-endos in a bad light, or legitimately confused. However, OP is a syscourse blog who is on a lot of blocklists and is spammy in the tags, and has likely been blocked by anyone who isn't also out looking to pick immature fights. (This is a system who made a post in all caps calling for an endo raid on #systempunk.)

Continuing directly from the last quote:

“[Antis] are against the liberation of plurals and deny a plural future in order to push singlethood onto others."

It's possible OP is referring to final fusion, which the anti-endo community is not a monolith on either. Most people we've interacted with are supporters of functional multiplicity (including ourselves.)

Most likely however, they mean that anti-endos "push singlethood" by telling endogenics that they can't have a trauma disorder without trauma.

And I could go into a whole tirade about that, but dozens of systems have done it before and I doubt any pro-endos have gotten this far. I am writing this for the anti-endo and on-the-fence audiences.

Visit @antimisinfo's helpful masterpost for a list of legitimate sources.

OP seems to believe that by “forcing” this singlethood, we are contributing directly to the oppression of systems. Hypocritically, OP themselves are contributing directly to the oppression of trauma victims.

Endogenics are not part of the "diverse experiences of plurality” (we are diverse, but united in origin) given that they don't exist. And if they did, they would have such a fundamentally different experience than trauma-formed systems that both groups would need separate language and tags to have space to themselves.

And endos already have a well-established punk tag for themselves. It seems they won't be happy until they chase trauma victims out of every space they create for themselves and steal every term. They've already stolen even the medical terminology used for CDDs.

The yellow stripe of the flag is meant to represent those with actual CDDs. Once again, psych stuff is brought up. However, I do agree with OP that those who do not want final fusion should not be pushed into it.

The pink and white stripes of the flag are entirely dedicated to anti-psych points. I think this would do wonderfully on it's own flag. But bringing the large range of discussion the anti-psych movement encompasses and the large range of discussion the CDD community has into the same tags is going to make it monumentally difficult to find the conversations you're wanting to have, and weaken both communities considerably.

There is a line of barbed wire across the flag that is partially for the same anti-psych movement as well as in favor of protecting and defending endogenic "identities." The ampersand stands for plurality.

There are fangs on the flag as well, encouraging systems to be loud and proud about their existence. And I agree that systems should make themselves known. However, endogenic systems don't exist, and their promotion will continue to drag us down.

I have read testimonies about traumagenic (real) systems being fakeclaimed or denied treatment by healthcare experts who, through exposure to endos, came to the conclusion CDDs are fake entirely.

Real systems seeking treatment and help after a lifetime of horrific abuse are being denied care.

Not to mention the setback of social acceptance by endos.

“Force plural liberation down the throats of others. Force the future to be plural."

[luciacaminoz]

OC Deep Dive - Soledad

What common/uncommon fear do they have?

(Ignoring the obvious fire and sunlight here)

That she won’t be useful; that she’s been ruined for nothing.

The blood bond.

Diablerie — not as in being diablerized, but the act itself; of being manipulated into/tempted again; of not being able to stop/her bulimia triggering if she’s for whatever reason feeding from another kindred, something she tries very hard not to do.

Aila — that presence when it stirs.

It’s more “fear for”, but Julian, or specifically whatever he’s thinking when his eyes get that focused black gleam. She knows it like some dreaded visual cue: tunnel vision. It used to be cute, watching him prattle while they lay out on the trailer roof on the New Mexico border two hours before sunrise, but they’re not fledglings anymore — there are very real consequences now.

Her voraciousness — in physical and emotional hunger.

Rats.

Do they have any pet peeves?

People that don’t use their turn signal.

When strangers ask about her scar or tattoos right off the bat.

Getting blood on or washing blood out of her clothes — because she customizes everything and really does try to save them.

Minimalism.

Stock cars.

People who talk too fast. When Julian especially starts talking too fast.

When ANYONE adjusts absolutely anything in her car. However she will do just that to yours.

What are three items you can find in their bedroom?

I guess when she’s on the move she will always have:

Topaz and mahogany heirloom rosary

Matte black finish gun kit (+ nighthawk custom)

Emergency blood bag

really quick vibes...

What do they notice first in a person?

Physically, and in rapid succession, their put-togetherness, what they’re wearing, then eyes, then mouth. Appearance might get a second once-over to take everything in, maybe sense the Beast. Body language and demeanor. Power they exude. In some situations with kindred and in more situations with mortals, she might try to gauge how attractive they perceive her to be. Where their eyes fall; how interested and receptive they are. In kind, how open, honest, or easy their behavior is — if there’s a forced sincerity about it. Sol doesn’t have auspex but she is decently intuitive and can be manipulative. She’ll also analyze how they interact with other people — those they know or mutual strangers.

What she notices first after building a rapport with a stranger is loyalty. That’s the moment it sinks in that this is or could potentially be someone reliable or meaningful to her.

On a scale of 1 to 10, how high is their pain tolerance?

Physically: 7. Much tougher than a mortal obviously, and she can definitely take a beating, but she doesn’t have fortitude and can be a bit of a glass cannon in a straight fight against heavy hitters. If her insides are mostly outsides at some point, she will be screaming crying throwing up (literally if her derangement triggers which then probably kicks off a hunger Frenzy).

Mentally: 9 LOL. Sol’s resolve and composure are insanely high and she has such a weak, dissolving and deeply negative sense of self already… it would be difficult for someone to target her in that way and have any luck getting through to really hurt her. Which is a whole other issue 🤦‍♀️

Emotionally (essentially if you are Julian, or her brother Tiago, or the presence of Aila; to a lesser extent Elena and Lettow): 4. Huge upset here is what’s most likely to pierce carapace, hit that soft underbelly. Sol definitely has got that desert fruit pulpy, nutty and horrifically messy centre underneath all the disconnect.

Do they go into fight or flight mode when under pressure? (Or freeze or fawn?)

It depends. Sol actually works well under pressure (again as long as it’s not her very specific brand of emotionally taxing trigger).

If she thinks she has a chance at getting through, or has no chance at all in a fight, she will fawn. It’s become insidiously intrinsic: whatever you need, whatever you want, I'll bend to any shape, don’t worry about me.

In an unavoidable outright hostile situation she’ll hold her ground and fight but be dirty about it. The nighthawk is pretty effective on mortals lol. With other kindred or when vastly outnumbered however… she’s not a tank but she’s slippery and her scorpion’s-touch-augmented-protean-claws hit like envenomated machetes. She can draw a whip from her vitae and create ugly little parasitic snakes made from spilled viscera. She will incapacitate, possibly fawn again if something can be worked out (Miss Second Chances To Her Detriment over here), and/then/or shoot to kill. Or die I suppose if she loses.

What animal represents them best?

Scorpions, snakes… specifically the species’ that are shyer, solitary and less aggressive, which in some cases those often have the strongest venom — very fitting for Sol. She can be a handle-carefully-and-don’t-push deal these nights.

It’s more out of symbolism but I really like the idea of the hummingbird for her too, in an “in another life/if things had went differently” kind of way (also the Sierra Vista connection — where she grew up). She was once naturally extroverted, poised, playful, dreamy, brave. Never stubborn or too headstrong, but at least less inclined to do what others wanted of her if she disagreed. Those traits have warped a lot, and she’s since got too-sharp teeth and corpse-skin that really is starting to feel a lot like carapace.

She knows she’s a monster, and she has complex views on that, but at the end of it all cannot detach from her conscience. Guilt eats her alive. I think Sol wants nothing else but to keep from what feels like the inevitable complete unhinging of her jaw.

How would a stranger likely describe them?

Striking, quiet but restless beauty. You guys will have to forgive my art lol. She has soft hispanic/asian features, thick dark wavy hair, deep olive tan skin, long legs. A slow and alluring (but not provocative) way of speaking and moving.

Obnoxious tattoos, dark undereyes, and on closer inspection her gnarly jagged scar can often have a stranger furrowing their brow.

She maintains a poker face, is intentionally unexpressive, but there’s an unconscious sensuality about her.

Sad eyes, like they themselves are trying to tell you something that even she’s not aware of.

Very cautious and conscientious — an intuitive stranger might clock that the fawn fear response has become her natural state of existing.

Do they have any hobbies?

At home base, tuning her ride and probably Julian’s fleet if one is left around. She hates stock. I hc Elena will not let her near the Datsun though, that they share that don’t fucking touch anything in my car rage 😭

She has a pet project of fixing up an old BMW R80 G/S — the motorcycle model her dad drove back in the day. (give me the strength to finish the art i have of this pleaaasee)

She likes to make things out of scrap metal too — welding shit together into little tools, or just because she wanted to see or keep her hands busy. Loves customizing, recycling, retrofitting, renovating and restoring.

Honing her butchered version of blood sorcery. Sol dropped out of school and is not academically inclined, but she is tenacious and open-minded and very much a quick, kinetic learner with a good eye for detail. Julian fills her in on whatever important prep knowledge and research she needs from tomes for bigger rituals, but he is usually the one conducting those — Sol has no grand plans. Otherwise she experiments a lot with minor powers within both the blood sorcery and protean disciplines, and her own weird magic-melee amalgamation of them. Because I have to dual-spec or I'll die!!!!!

finally had time to finish this….thank you so much for the tag @diableriedoll ^^

i’ll tag @devilbrakers @gauntlings @silkenred @kibellah @vesperblood

@ustalav @auspex @eurodyning

@ruvviks @girlnextvore @baelavelaryon @dykeferatu and any oc perverts reading this because my mind goes blank everytime

[jamscandraw]

Get to know my Tav - Percy edition

Perseverance "Percy" ◆ Mephistopheles Tiefling ◆ she/her ◆ 28 ◆ Entertainer ◆ Monk ◆ Way of the Four Elements

From what I can gather the original source of this questionnaire is @sporeservant! Percy is still pretty new to me as a character and I'm not very far into the game so these things will change over time, but I like figuring out a character in the early stages so I can think about how to play them! I'm also super open to answering other questions about her so if you're curious, just ask :) Big text under the cut!

What is your Tav's:

favourite weapon: a big old stick. She currently carries a magic javelin but refuses to ever throw it, and just hits things with the pointy end

style of combat: punch, kick, punch punch. She's a highly skilled martial artist and now she's got the power of anime on her side, her fists can now set things on fire too

most prized possession: her combat robes. They belonged to her mentor, Tegulu, who wore them for over 30 years as a monk of a sacred order, and has now passed them on to Percy as a way of initiating her. She doesn't yet feel like she's 'earned' them, but carries them with a great honour

deepest desire: finding a sense of belonging. As a first-generation tiefling in a little town outside the city, Percy was an outsider growing up, and even though she met other tieflings when she joined the circus, she was still treated like a novelty and struggled to find proper community. Being on the road for 9 months of the year means she can't really settle anywhere and doesn't have a specific place she calls 'home'

guilty pleasure: card games. She never bets big money but she loves a night of drinks, cards and winning or losing a few coins. She tries not to win by card-counting too often

best-kept secret: was employed by one of the biggest crime rings in Baldur's Gate for a time. In her late teens/early 20s, in between different circus groups (she left the first one because of poor treatment) and in need of money for her and her friends, she took on work as a bouncer at a club, which turned out to be a front for The Cards, and after a few months of good work she was trusted to work security for some of their more questionable business meetings. She was never high-ranking enough to know what the meetings were actually about but she was still affiliated with them and The Cards don't forget. That part of her life is long-gone but she never brings it up with the Tadpole Squad because she's scared of being judged as a lowlife criminal (especially by Wyll)

greatest strength: apart from her phenomenal dexterity, she's a very shrewd judge of character. Street magic taught her how to read people, and working security for The Cards taught her how to spot a fight before it's even started.

fatal flaw: refusal to ask for help. Everyone else in the party is either already a renowned warrior or super skilled in some other way, all with important missions of their own, and she’s just a random nobody wearing patchwork clothes that happened to fall out of the sky with them. She holds herself to impossible standards and acts like everything is fine all the time so the others don’t see her as the weak link and leave her behind

favourite smell: fresh sawdust

favourite spell or cantrip: it’s technically a ki attack rather than a spell, but Fist of Unbroken Air is great

pet peeve: When people learn she's a circus performer they either joke that she's a clown, or assume that means she's musically talented like a bard, and ask her to sing. She has no confidence in her singing abilities (it's fine) and always flat out refuses

bad habit: hoarding. Having a semi-nomadic lifestyle most of her adult life, Percy is used to having not many personal belongings and not much carrying capacity. Now she has travelling companions and a place to safely store things, she is loathe to discard or ignore any items she finds that "might be useful one day" (yes, I have terrible inventory management)

hidden talent: good with horses. The circus always had them for shows and for travelling, and while she never performed with them she still grew up around them and knows how to handle and ride them pretty well

leisure activity: yoga! It’s good both from a meditative standpoint, as a way to clear her thoughts and recharge her ki points, but also as a way to maintain her flexibility and practice her stances. She tries to do a little bit each day, usually just after waking up and going to sleep

favourite drink: barley wine, or nettle tea if non-alcoholic

comfort food: fruit pie or tart, anything really rich and sweet

favourite person: a three-way tie between Tegulu, her mentor, Iske, her best friend and performance partner, and Lorena, her mother. All of them have had huge positive impacts on her in different ways and she loves them all dearly

Out of Team Tadpole, Wyll by a long shot. They are friends almost from the moment they met, long before any non-platonic feelings start to develop. Karlach is a close second, being a fellow tiefling and very easy to spend time with, and Lae'zel in third, who despite being far harder to joke around with is Percy's most trusted ally in this whole affair. She was the first one Percy met and they saved each other's lives, and Percy trusts her with anything except relationship advice

favoured display of affection (platonic and/or romantic): banter and friendly teasing. She's nice to everyone when they first meet but once she knows someone well enough she enjoys bouncing off them with little two-way jokes. If she really likes you she'll let her tail rest on your lap or twist round your leg; it's a tiefling sign of trust and comfort around someone

fondest childhood memory: the first time the circus ever came to her village. She would have been about 7 and she was blown away by all the lights and colours and amazing skills on show. She was already an adventurous and athletic child, and she decided then and there she wanted to be a part of it when she grew up. It was also the first proper time she ever saw another tiefling - a tightrope walker - and had a sense that there were other people out there in the world like her

[anacdoce]

OC Layers Tag Game

Thank you for the tag @bhaal-battle-beer-bard and @amoremagnificentbastard🖤 it's always a pleasure to read about your OC's 🥰

As for me, I'll bring my Raven to this game, of course.

LAYER ONE: THE OUTSIDE

Name: Raven Farwind

Eye Color: Chocolate brown

Hair Style/Color: Black hair always braided with bangs.

Height: 1,65m

Clothing Style: She always wears black, comfortable clothes. When she's on a job she usually prefers to wear leather pants and leather shirts, sometimes with a corset (the girl has to be prepared to run easily if the need arise), but she likes to wear simple long dresses too when she goes out. As for the shoes, my girl always wears boots, high, black leather boots.

Best Physical Feature(s): For her? Nothing. She can't appreciate herself. For me as her creator? Fuck. EVERYTHING. She is so beautiful and some times I want to slap myself for not letting her see that. But well, Astarion will do it for me 😏

LAYER TWO: THE INSIDE

Fears: Raven fears to be left alone, alone to deal with her deamons, who always push her to do the wrong things.

Guilty Pleasure: Big mugs of cold beer.

Biggest Pet Peeve: Pet names. She hates it. (Are you seeing where this is going? 😂)

Ambition for the Future: To do everything for her father.

LAYER THREE: THOUGHTS

First Thoughts Waking Up: "All I want is to fall asleep again..."

What They Think About the Most: "I'm no one. Nobody see me."

What They Think About Before Bed: "How much longer do I have to put up with this? I'm so tired..."

What They Think Their Best Quality Is: The way she moves between the shadows without being seen.

LAYER FOUR: WHAT’S BETTER?

Dogs or Cats? Huh... Birds? 😅

Single or Group Dates?

To be Loved or Respected?

Beauty or Brains?

LAYER FIVE: DO YOU?

Lie: All of her life.

Believe in Yourself: A big NOPE.

Believe in Love: To others? Yes, she believes it. To herself? Not really.

Want Someone: Although she doesn't admit it, that's all she ever wanted.

LAYER SIX: HAVE YOU EVER?

Been on Stage: No. Nor will she.

Done Drugs: No.

Changed Who You Were to Fit In: AHAH no. Never. She doesn't care if she fits or not.

LAYER SEVEN: WHAT’S THEIR…

Favorite colors: Black.

Favorite animal: Ravens.

Favorite book: She's not a fan of reading.

Favorite game: She loves to play catch and hide and seek 😏

LAYER EIGHT: AGE

DOB: She's a girl of winter.

How Old Will You Be: She's 28.

Does Age Matter: Before meeting Astarion? No. After meeting him? Since she's a human, it matters a lot.

LAYER NINE: FINISH THE SENTENCE

I love: "My papa."

I feel: "Empty. I'm just surviving."

I hide: "A desire so deep to be seen."

I miss: "The times when I was free and naive."

I wish: "I could believe again. I wish I could have a way out. I wish a change on the tides, a new whistle on the winds, or else I wish the cold to freeze me."

All the shots above are from @iizven, the personal photographer of my beautiful Raven. Thank you for all of those again, my love ❤️

No pressure tags: @bloodinwine; @meeshrox; @xxnashiraxx; @saucy-scribbler; @roguishcat; @poetsiren

I bit late, so if you have been tagged already, ignore this.

[pruneunfair]

When it's hard to admit something you like is actually not great.

I understand the cry or better yet beg fans on some level when it comes to your favorite piece of media being endlessly criticized. Trust me, it doesn't feel good.

I'll speak from my own experience with my media that I loved and eventually had to admit it wasn't as amazing as I claimed I to be. I was a huge fan of yandere simulator, a game that is mostly known nowadays for both it's poor quality in coding and story telling and it's pedo developer, Yandere dev.

Before that controversy, I loved the game for its bright appeal, anime aesthetic and of course the easter eggs that came with the game to eliminate NPC'S in a funny way, I watched all the development videos on his YouTube channel, I visited his WordPress blog for any extra updates and probably the worst I've done: I've defended him against other channels calling out his bullshit after I was easily swayed by his hate and shame video. I was about 11 years old when I last defended him, not realizing that's exactly what Alex wanted his younger fans to do.

Yandere simulator itself is extremely gross. You've probably already heard of why but just in case someone seeing this hasn't, I'll explain. The game itself was about the protagonist, Ayano Aishi, on a obsession fueled quest to feel emotions by romancing a boy and the player has to eliminate 10 rivals over 10 weeks. What made it gross were the use of panty shots as currency that you used to have to crawl and look up at yourself if you wanted to use any of the tools in the games shop (Info-chan) the characters skirts are often flipping up when you run, one of the rivals is a sexy pedo teacher not meant to tell a story on SA but rather for self gratification, the UNDERAGE protagonist wears different underwear for special buffs and you get the idea that this game is a mess of code for something that is just a porn game being played by minors given how easy it was to download the game.

Other pieces of media I defended as amazing at all times are Helluva boss and Hazbin hotel. They aren't nearly as awful as yandere simulator and for the most part, I can still watch them without feeling intense disgust, but as much as they shows are guilty pleasures, they still have problems that needed to be called out.

Hazbin hotel has objectively more issues than its youtube cousin. Mostly just minor pet peeves that don't actually ruin the entire story such as too much of the same color scheme and many characters having the same skinny body type. Those are all flaws though that can easily be attributed to the shows tumblr esque artstyle that can be really appealing. However, it messes up with its portrayal, I see what Hazbin tries to do with Angel Dust, I am not a victim of SA so I will not be inserting my own opinions if the depiction of someone coping with the trauma with hypersexuality was done well but I have looked through reviews of Angel Dusts character who have gone through SA and it was overall a mixed bag, that it was okay but ultimately tarnished by the fact that the storyboard artist Vivzie put in charge for that episode was someone who has a rape fetish and even ships Angel with his abuser, Valentino.

Helluva boss is a little better in my opinion but it still has several of its own issues. Characters aren't allowed to actually be flawed and generally repent for being assholes because there's always some sad sad backstory that completely justifies them being assholes by inserting someone who's entirely worse. It kinda takes away from the fact that the characters are demons and would naturally act dickish to people considering how vulgar they are. I feel Helluva boss does actually try to make a good story since there are many episodes that aren't too bad, my favorite episodes are actually the shorts of the crew doing their job as assassin's which I really miss compared to the constant drama and the 3 year long "Will they? Won't they?" Between Stolas and Blitzø.

And not that's even mentioning the excessive swearing.

Now that I'm older, I can see how labeling anyone who criticized my favorite shows/games as mindless haters who just didn't get how amazing it is was childish. I know nowadays that critique and criticism are absolutely necessary when you have a flawed piece or media or a problematic creator. I don't blame Van Ji for adapting COBYB considering how tight money is but I still will criticize Solche for how vile COBYB is regardless of their talents. This doesn't mean sending them death threats or doxing their location but rather making my own complaints where anyone who wants to can join in.

There are times when you have to admit something you are attached to isn't that great and I know it can be especially hard if it's a special interest but instead of listing paragraph after paragraph on why the "haters" are just stupid for not seeing the hidden "message" of how Matthias is actually misunderstood. Take your time to listen to their perspective, why they hate it so much and have your own civilized discussion about why its good or bad, and agree to disagree, I despise remarried empress with a passion but I still like to listen to remarried empress fans explain their view on the story when the conversation is actually civil and not an hour long internet debate.

If you are a big fan of cry or better yet beg and are only looking for positive things about it, I implore you to look somewhere else because aside from my love for the Van Ji's beautiful artstyle, I have nothing positive to say about any of Solches work aside from mystical.

[storyofmychoices]

✦ Astraea Callen ✦

Get to know my Wake the Dead MC Art in image by the wonderful @lilyoffandoms

📼 🛼 📺 🎞️ 👾 🕹️ ☎️ 🎸 💿 💾 📼 🛼 📺 🎞️ 👾 🕹️ ☎️ 🎸 💿 💾

✦ Troy x Astraea Masterlist ✦

📼 🛼 📺 🎞️ 👾 🕹️ ☎️ 🎸 💿 💾 📼 🛼 📺 🎞️ 👾 🕹️ ☎️ 🎸 💿 💾

Name: Astraea Callen Meaning: star-maiden, starry night (Greek) ⭐️; Greek goddess of justice, purity, and innocence.

Birthday/Zodiac: July 12 / Cancer ♋ Her birthday is National Etch-a-Sketch day

Personality: intuitive, tenacious, protective, dependable, loyal, introspective, can be emotional

Best Friend & Love Interest: Troy Hassan ❤️

Pronouns: She/Her

Likes:

All things 80s/90s: She and Troy love learning about that era and finding things from it, especially an Etch-A-Sketch. Troy gave it to her for her birthday one year and she just loves drawing on it. She really wants a keytar.

Cloud watching and creating stories from what she sees

Star gazing and mapping constellations

Flower pressing

Collecting notes, letters, sketches, journal pages, etc she finds during scavenging to preserve the memories of those who originally owned them

Her machete, which she named Slashley (like ashley but more slashy!)

Sharpie Markers

Dislikes:

Wet socks

Loud chewing (Troy occasionally chews loudly on purpose just to annoy her)

Splinters and paper cuts (just cut her hand off, it'd hurt less)

Heights

Animal cruelty

Fun Facts:

When they're kids, Troy proposes with a ring pop (as kids do), but decades later, when he and Astraea start seeing each other, he makes it his mission to find another and eventually proposes for real with a ring pop.

She is a grazer. She doesn't like big meals, rather having lots of snacks though out the day.

She doesn't take herself too seriously. She is playful and holds on to being silly/childish because the world around them is too cruel to lose that. Thankfully, Troy feels the same way so the pair are often off causing trouble and mischief.

She's not great at hiding her emotions, her face says what she's thinking (for better or worse)

Pet Peeves: Troy leaving drawers and cabinets open, passive aggressiveness, zombies

📼 🛼 📺 🎞️ 👾 🕹️ ☎️ 🎸 💿 💾 📼 🛼 📺 🎞️ 👾 🕹️ ☎️ 🎸 💿 💾

I can't believe I didn't already have a profile for her. I haven't played WTD or wrote anything for it in so long that I don't remember a lot of things, so I definitely have to replay to flesh this out better but this is a brief look at Astraea

[deadrlngers]

oc deep dive

i was tagged by @devilbrakers and @ruvviks thank you both soso much <3

tagging (no pressure): @marictheirins @mojaves @lucaanis @faarkas @kibellah @risingsh0t @pawnguild @baelavelaryon @ncytiri @tethrras @aezyrraesh and anyone else that would like to do this!!

What common/uncommon fear do they have?

Abandonment. Her own mother left her when she was nothing but a child so it got ingrained into her system that something about her isn’t right or enough, or both, to make people stick around in the long run.

Forgetting or in general losing her memory. This is mainly a repercussion of what she went through with the relic and Johnny. Basically the idea of missing pieces and bits of her life terrifies her. That leads to the fear of losing her identity, losing herself basically. Who am i? Who was i before this? Am i still myself? etc etc

The ocean. She’s not exactly scared of water (she actually has no problem with swimming or pools for example) but very large bodies of water that she can’t see the end of unsettle her. Also needles don’t really make her feel...relaxed.

Do they have any pet peeves?

Vesper HATES being bossed around, she’s the one bossing around others and she likes to keep it that way lmao

Slow drivers make her road rage explode which is already hanging by a thin thread in a city like night city. Loud chewing/people who eat with their mouth open irk her, it might even make her too disgusted to keep on eating herself.

Being touched by strangers and people she doesn’t know well. Being lied to grinds her balls into dust, especially when the other person knows she’s aware of their lies but they keep on playing the part (this is basically Fenix, sorry).

People that are too passive and don’t take action and sit on the possibilities for too long; she hates waiting around and prefers action to inaction.

Dare i say rich people? But more in the sense of...she’s annoyed by very big displays of wealth. She grew up almost into poverty so she’s very prejudiced towards anyone that instead grew up wealthy (<her own brother for example AND step-siblings). When she hears people mindlessly talk about money Vesper is very quick to judge them as “out of touch with reality”.

What are three items you can find in their bedroom?

Cigarettes, empty packs included because she forgets to throw them away and sometimes she stores things inside the packs like lighters and other small objects (and forgets about them too...)

At least one gun near her nightstand, just to be safe.

Lots of polaroids, mostly taken by someone else and gifted to her. Some date back to her teenage years, some are with old friends no longer in her life, others see her and Fenix back when they first dated. She cares about one that portrays her and Daniel during a dinner most of all: since they grew up separated, that's the very first photo she has with her brother.

What do they notice first in a person?

Demeanor and...their ego, if it makes sense. If their self-esteem or sense of self-importance is sky high she will notice immediately (and already settle on disliking them). Vesper likes confidence, she’s attracted to it, but overdoing it breaks the spell.

Then their intentions–are they here to talk? Attack? Flirt? Ask questions? Basically she’s already scanning for hints that will tell her why they decided to approach her. Body language is a big one as well. Then eyes and smell, if they are close enough.

A beautiful, charming smile catches her eye immediately.

On a scale of 1 to 10, how high is their pain tolerance?

Physically: 9. She wasn’t called the iron maiden for nothing during her boxing days. She can take one hell of a hard beating and still stay on her feet. It doesn’t help that she gets very careless with it at times and she pushes her body to the limit even when she’s already bleeding and in pain (the infamous Akira vs Vesper fight during Hanako’s kidnapping is a good example; Akira is a special trained soldier and has very expensive cyberware that specifically focuses on enhancing their physical strength. Suffice to say Fenix was K.O after a few hits while Vesper stood her ground and even inflicted a few serious hits to Akira. They might be enemies but Akira developed a sense of respect for Vesper after that).

Mentally: 8. Composed, resolved, focused–she doesn’t give a fuck about what you will say to her, quite honestly. Good luck trying to get through her. Vesper is pretty confident, the most you might get out of her is a scoff or a mocking smirk. Bark like a dog you are below me moron type of deal. Plus she went through some Shit her whole life, she’s kind of used to it by now. Also she firmly believes that she needs to be the real strength to her loved ones, too many people look up to her and she can’t allow any weakness.

Emotionally: 4. She tries to hold it together, thinks she’s not showing how upset or hurt she is but it’s very visible on her face. Her main issue is rage–and her first emotional reaction–so she tends to lash out very quickly. She tries to keep in control with the people she loves (and often fails when pushed too far) but she’s a complete tornado with the rest of the world. It’s hard to break through her shell and she doesn’t allow many to get to the core, her heart. Giving someone that much power over her emotions is something that scares her. If hurt by a loved one she will feel that deeply and for a long time…and she isn’t very fair with the making up afterwards.

Do they go into fight or flight mode when under pressure? (Or freeze or fawn?)

In a hostile situation it’s fight, no doubt. She doesn’t shy away from a fight and prefers a physical resolution to mediation.

In any other situation i think maybe freeze, start a verbal fight most likely. She’s not really the type to fawn. More than freeze she shuts down completely and grows this incredibly thick second skin that doesn’t break under any pressure or hit, she will simply go silent and unresponsive.

What animal represents them best?

This is a difficult one for me but i’m going with an otter! A bit uncommon maybe but otters are fairly peaceful animals, some more solitary, but they can be aggressive when necessary and some tend to be territorial which is exactly how i perceive Vesper. Not a danger if you don’t bother her, but show yourself as a threat and she can get very hostile. Also i read somewhere otters love to cuddle, idk if it’s true but it would fit. Also Fenix has her contact saved as otter girl and sends her photos of otters and says “you” so i’m picking them.

How would a stranger likely describe them?

Intimidating. She’s 1.84m with wide shoulders and muscular arms, plus her expression (even when relaxed!) doesn’t look very friendly or approachable. Standoffish, stoic, distant, maybe a touch apathetic. Basically if you approach her you will feel like you are doing the mortal sin of bothering her and for that you will be sentenced to death. This idea can be quickly proved wrong, just please don’t bring to her stupid, time-wasting inquiries.

Interesting but reserved. And a presence that exudes safety also. If you are into the stoic type who doesn’t express much at first you will be naturally attracted to uncovering more of her.

Appearance wise people notice her physical presence, then the few scars on her face and the star tattoo right below her right eye. Also when she was younger she used to have gold fangs that naturally caught people’s eye. It’s not uncommon to see Vesper sporting a few bruises here and there so she’s either perceived as a troublemaker or the “too cool for me to approach” type. Depends on the stranger.

It’s very unlikely that she’d smile at a stranger but her smile would be described as beautiful. The little star tattoo makes the smile look all more warm when it reaches her eyes, the sensation is akin to looking at a twinkling star!!

Do they have any hobbies?

Partying (she’s surprisingly the right company you’d want to have fun with), dancing and specifically ballroom dance (latin mainly; bachata, cha cha cha etc etc), playing her bass guitar, listening to music, tinkering around with her motorbike and boxing. Even if she left that life behind her, Vesper still keeps exercising–both for its usefulness on her line of work and because it’s a great outlet for stress and anger.

Daniel is trying very hard to drag her into gaming, still a work in progress.

[umbra-borealis]

Dimitri Lousteau is the most 'human' villain in Sly Cooper

Hello and welcome to my TEDtalk, I've been meaning to type out my yapping for a long time but always talked myself out of it because I mean, this is coming from a guy with Dimitri for a pfp and I figured people would just take it as a guy on tumblr simping for a weird lizard but no. The reasons I care for Dimitri the way I do goes pretty deep and I could sit here and talk about it point by point but to save us both some time (and because I am DEAD tired) I made a graph!

I used Luciano, my little sona, to personify myself in this.

I focused mainly on formative things and similarities in personality without inserting headcanons, even if based on traits or even symptoms I recognize. Most of these are rather straight forward but some run a little deeper. The funny pattern here (maybe aside from the drug thing lol) is that there's a high likelihood that you reading this right now can at least relate to just one or two things on those list and while you could argue that you could do the same with other characters, I picked these traits because in my opinion they ride that thin line between just relatable enough to apply to a lot of people, but not too superficial to be on the same an interest or hobby. Anyone can get upset when angry, it's HOW you express that anger that says something about you as a person for instance.

I also want to quickly mention that yes, a LOT of characters in Sly Cooper are very human, but I said 'villain' for a reason. After all I don't think your average college kid can relate to Contessa, Rajan or Panda King because mass brainwashing, destroying villages and being a literal drug lord are bordering on supervillain and that's not what Dimitri is. A supervillain can be relatable to a degree as well, but it makes sense that the Panda King had to have a whole Moment TM (several really) to come to terms with the kind of person he allowed himself to become. When we see Dimitri in Sly 3, he seems to have already done this perhaps because his sins aren't nearly as great. But I'm getting ahead of myself.

I'll insert a read-more here but I'd like to ask you to keep reading anyway if you can because my biggest pet peeve is that Dimitri is seen as a dumb, sleazy (and old??? which is dumb and I got math to back up that he's not in fact in his 40s during Sly 2 lmao) lizard who's only good as a level 1 boss for beginners to learn the game and all he's remembered for, though fair, is his manner of speech and not what he's REALLY saying. None of you ever picked up on what he was throwing down so I'm going to spell it out for you.

(PS I have ADHD and it's 3 AM so go easy on me this is coming from the HEART baby)

To make it easier on myself and you, I'm going to start sectioning the word soup in my head into four categories based on Dimitri's enterprises and roles and just kinda... waffle on about my thoughts regarding them. I'll start superficial and work my way down to the Deep Shit. Feel free to skip around to whatever interests you since I include some lore too, though changes are you're already aware of said lore.

Lets start with:

Dimiti, the club manager.

Nightclubs, and the people that run them tend to have a bit of a sleazy stereotype attached to them, which I suppose is fair. Though a large chunk is attributed to movies and other media, there were in fact some really large and important movements surrounding nightlife and club culture. Just look up the Club Kids if you want to go down a rabbit hole, in short they were a fairly large group of partiers from the 90s who contributed a LOT to fashion and art movements as well as being generally very fluid when it came to gender. Unfortunately that too would eventually be plagued by drugs and members getting addicted to drugs. Again, I digress.

Dimitri is seen partying in the intro of his chapter in Sly 2,

which is a nice touch because not only is it in-character, it's something that would actually happen. Owners of a popular joints would be popular or just enigmatic figures that would regularly get subjected to patrons schmoozing up to them. Some weren't a fan but there were many that soaked up the attention, bought rounds on the house when business was good, maybe get a little TOO cocky with confidence. It's a bit too simple to look at Dimitri in relation to all this info and say 'no doi he was in it for the money it checks out.' because if you spend enough time in his club or just, in the safe house after placing the bug there's signs of more going on.

We KNOW Dimitri is a criminal and he did his whole art forgery business on the side, or maybe it's the other way round? Either way he seemed fairly confident in his skills with this. His biggest risk being that time he tried to marry someone over a STATUE. (Really dude?) So then why was he so damn paranoid? While you could argue that he was sippin' his own supply I don't think that's what it was. He was so paranoid he played his music super loud in almost all areas of the club JUST to keep his security detail awake through-out night and day, whenever his club wasn't open to the public. To compensate he would promise them they could all 'retire early'. with that fake confidence chuckle that masks a sense of 'haha please don't abandon me'

So, ever heard of Imposter Syndrome? Because his behavior as a club owner SCREAMS it. He wasn't JUST cocky and sleazy, he was simply fitting in with the culture of the time because *everyone* was overly confident, over confidence was something to be admired, something to look at and go 'yeah that guy has it figured out' while in reality most struggled with something, anything. So what is Imposter Syndrome? To keep it short and blunt, the overwhelming feeling that you're not worthy of your accomplishments. We know that Dimitri is a 'failed' artist who turned to forging art to make money, it could just be a sense of guilt telling him something he's not ready to hear so he starts overcompensating and this insecurity bleeds into Sly 3 after Sly puts him in his place. His success with this insanely toxic coping mechanism lands him a new enterprise.

Dimitri, the Spice distributor.

Rather than going chronological, I'm going through the 'layers' that is this lizard. So if his career as a club owner is the tip of the ice berg with some neat little facts and info about the stereotype he conveys, this subject is a tier deeper. Dimitri the Spice distributor is Dimitri the next level criminal, or so he thinks. When you think about it, it's pretty strange that they gave Dimitri some Clockwerk parts at all. He was never mentioned by the other Klaww Gang members and thus seemingly not missed either when he was the first to get busted. In fact, nobody was upset that their DISTRIBTOR was arrested, putting a hold on their primary income... or so we thought until the Contessa was revealed to have a rather large and lucrative side hussle Dimitri probably could never compete with. Dimitri was expendable, sure he had a role and he played it well but he was also a loss they could cope with without much harm done to their wallets or their pride.

I think about it often, Dimitri in his jail cell, maybe hearing from another criminal or even his lawyer after the whole Clock-La thing about the full scope of the plan. He might've gotten a reduced sentence for ratting the other members out because if you think back to his legendary conversation with Sly he really doesn't seem to know what he's talking about. ("What is it with clocks bro!?") All of Dimitri's other crimes aside, he was young and naive, Sly 3 reveals he came from some form of poverty as well so it makes sense that he'd chase easy money. That's all it was though, he wanted the money and the fame, he didn't want to brainwash an entire city, he didn't know about the giant robot owl. He's once again left feeling like a failure, this time one that was easy to fool and all the confidence he had as a criminal would've seeped out of him, starting this weird cycle of him trying something only to be caught breaking the law and ending up where he began.

Like I said all of this would bleed into Sly 3 and it's pretty damn neat that for how little lines he had and how little he was on screen, they managed to convey this well in my opinion. By the time we reach Sly 3, most of us don't remember him as a Spice distribtor at all. Which leads me to...

Dimitri the Artist.

Being an artist is a pretty broad term and while we know Dimitri as a painter, I think he applies his artist mindset in way, way more. He's genuinely creative an smart, he thinks out of the box to protect his secrets and to cover his tracks. His identity as an artist is also his most vulnerable and 'real' self. Folks will say art is about self expression and usually mean conveying complex topics with pretty pictures or thought provoking stories, however it can be apparent in smaller ways too and the most obvious thing for Dimitri is his business in forging art. Think about it this way:

Picture you don't speak a LICK of english, you're from a lower in-come family or even straight up poverty but you grew up on tall tales of your grandpa being a total badass who lived freely and seizes every opportunity he could to make money... or take it rather but you get the idea. Your grandpa used his talents as a diver and deep down, you know what your talent is. It's art. So you somehow manage to move across the world to Paris, go to an art school work your ass off to develop your own style, your own identity and when it came to making a name for yourself you were rejected super hard. You're now probably in debt, in a foreign country and all you're known for is being the art community's clown.

One thing that gets overlooked is that Dimitri's paintings aren't actually that bad.

He very clearly knows the basics quite well, he's using color theory to shade and add depth but as he goes from student to independant artist, he breaks away from the basics and develops a style. His color use becomes brighter, he adds little stars just because why not? He likes em! This style is PERFECT for the nightlife club scene he ends up in down the line of course, but in the world of pretentious parisian artist hipsters? Absolutely not. So while he's just being himself, he's shown that that isn't allowed, that wont get him success. It reminds me of artists who say shit like 'I'll just learn to draw furry porn I guess!' thinking it's a guaranteed money printer (heh) and whether they enjoy making that kind of content is irrelevant, which leads to burn out or in case they DO find success, imposter syndrome. The dread that you do not deserve this recognition because it's not something you're actually that passionate about, not something you want to be known for. Say what you will about Dimitri but he never compromised. And while the cutscene shows shoddy painted depictions of classical paintings, I think this was more to illustrate him forging paintings to a younger audience than imply he was a bad painter as just before those crappy version, we see what's probably the REAL version he would've painted and sold.

This is conjecture on my part but I have to believe it because well, art forgery is HARD. You'd have to actually be a freaking genius to do it and sell it for so high, you can just afford what is basically a freaking opera house in PARIS and turn it into a nightclub. Also did I mention Dimitri just, HAS a ~mansion~ in Monaco? Because he does.

I've also always liked that scene for the expression on his face. It's smug, it's so full of petty, passve aggressive anger, a stubborness to admit defeat and instead to just 'prove a point' even if that point is lost to the means being SUPER illegal. That being sad, I don't think any of us feel bad over this man stealing a couple thousand from billionaire pockets. Billionaires that probably have their own little illicit ways to get that cash. Funny... It seems Sly isn't the only one who steals from other criminals.

And you might've stuck around this long and gone 'Umbra, get to the fucking POINT already." to which I have good news.

Dimitri, the Marine Iguana.

My favorite part, feel free to skip ahead to this headline if you want.

So who is this guy anyway? Well, from Sly 3 we see that he has a mother, a sister and his grandparents and that's about it as far as we can tell.

Just look at that smile! He looks like your average, awkward teenager. No struggling on the streets from what we can tell, no bullying by bigger kids, no weird sociopathic tendencies, no childhood trauma or grudges. The events that changed him seem to all have happened after he left for Paris. Sure it aint much to go off of but even if his life was hard, it seemed he was close with his grandfather and got to know him for a decent couple of years. Marine Iguanas are, like the name implies, an aquatic species of reptile. They're well adapted to land but due to low food availability in-land, they migrated to the beaches and started living off of sea algae, learning how to dive in the process. Even in Sly 2 the devs included plenty of references to Dimitri's affinity for water. The windows in the dancefloor area of his club are partially submerged, there are two massive aquariums in his office, he lives on a boat (or hides there anyway) and has several water features but inside and outside his club.

When you take a step back and look at all that, Dimitri is... just a guy who left his home country, his family, to follow a dream only to have that dream shatter and he's left to pick up the pieces all alone, making poor choices in the process. Choices based on anger and a broken heart. And the truth of the matter is that ALL of this, could happen to anyone. Granted in varying different ways as not everyone's life is the same and not everyone will make the same choices but I think many of us had a dream career as a kid only to become a jaded adult who thinks it's unrealistic or only does that thing as a hobby, I think there's many of us that remember the moment our hearts were broken and we realized the cold, unforgiving nature of real, adult life.

We see the effect of ALL of this come to a head in Sly 3, when at first he's not sure if he should still be mad at Sly for putting him in jail while he's currently the only guy he knows that COULD break him back out of jail as well. He still overcompensates, he's still overly confident and he put himself in that cell but still, he honors his word and helps Sly and Bentley find their friend. Then in Holland we see him behind a bar, seemingly as if he's actually got a job as a bartender there. Heck, he DOES have a job! He's the announcer! He may not super like it but he's being humbled by it all the same and when Sly comes for help a second time, the bravado is gone for a moment. He expresses genuine fear, not necessarily for his own safety but for losing a job, for *failing*. Of course the right answer in this scenario is to hype up his confidence again. And because Sly has proven himself to be trustworthy in the past he figures he can trust him with a favor of personal, sentimental value. If anyone would understand how it feels to have your family name dishonored and an heirloom stolen, it's Sly and Dimitri knows that damn well.

I think this is about as real as Dimitri can get, aside from the whole scuba gear thing. I know the gang is disguised but I don't think Dimitri is at all. I think that's just... what he likes to wear, further making me think he's just a regular guy with so much heart ache he lashe out in some pretty vile ways. Tortured artists are known to do some crazy shit after all. And while he continues to be his funny eccentric self we know him to be, he starts to have his first real moments of genuine care and loyalty while a part of the Cooper Gang. He tells Bentley he 'has his own flavor' which is his way of telling him that he's unique an valid the way he is. He dives after Sly's cane in VERY dangerous waters, risking injury or even his life, no questions asked. He sends Bentley postcards and letters to let his friend know he's safe and doing well. But perhaps something that hits me harder than any of that, is how angry and shocked Dimitri looks upon Sly's 'retirement announcement'.

Here he was thinking he made a friend out of Sly, and just like that he was gone. It makes me wonder if he held onto that grudge or not but a part of me likes to imagine that he didn't. I think his time with that gang made him realize that although he might not understand and he might be upset, it's not all about him. If anything he silently continued the rivalry by seeing how many girls he could cram into one post card with him to one up Sly's act of running off with a girl himself or perhaps he took it as a sign to make a career switch as well. Either way, Dimitri ended up changing for the better, he became himself in the end. A sweet, goofball iguana who loves the ocean and loves to paint. Making money became a nice bonus rather than his main focus.

Coming from a similar, rough background, having gone to therapy and trying to find my place in the world, this gives me hope. Hope that if I look hard enough, I can find my niche too and that being myself is the best I can be. If you read all this, thank you. I fgured it was best to just get it ALL out at once. I hope it was a fun read or made you look at Dimitri a little differently.